Lucid Desires

Chapter 5 - Conspicuous Clues

con·spic·u·ous

/kənˈspikyo͞oəs/

Adj. standing out so as to be clearly visible.

---oo---

The calm sound of raindrops rapidly hitting the concrete floor was a piece of sweet music to my ears. Staring at how they create little ripples for quite a moment was a boredom killer as I waited for Lea to come out from the doctor's office. She called me this morning to come with her for her Saturday check-up. And help her find the best book in the bookstore near the clinic.

While I was in the middle of fascinating the satisfying patterns of the heavy rainfall, the couple in front of me, who was wearing the same red shirt with heart prints on them, was kissing lusciously like they didn't know anything about privacy. I shifted my eyes to them, hoping they would stop and find the right place to show their passionate love to each other. But the girl pinned her eyes to me while continued kissing her boyfriend like she's thirsty for saliva, and even ran her hands to her boyfriend's bulge, making silent masculine moans audible inside the patients' waiting area.

Gross. Can't they control their lustful audacity?

I decided to go outside and wait for Lea in the waiting shed beside the clinic. Freezing blows of the wind slapped me in the face as I pushed open the glass door that was already half-opened. As I sat on the chilly metal bench, a familiar hooded man crossed in front of me, leaving a musky scent that made my nose follow the trail. The scent was familiar, but I couldn't recall when and where I smelled it.

"Why are you here? There are empty seats in the waiting area," Lea tapped me on the shoulder. "Do you really want to get soaked with rain?"

"I just felt like wanting to breathe cold air," I gazed in the direction of where the guy went, then back to Lea.

"The air inside is cold. The clinic has an inverter, and it's on the maximum level," she rolled her eyes. "Tell me the truth, Eunice. I know there is a more understandable reason than that."

I let a heavy sigh out of my mouth. "There was a couple inside, and they were kissing."

"What about that? Kissing is not wrong," she muttered, fixing something in her tote bag and faced me with a sharp glare.

"I don't feel like seeing couples kissing in public. I know it's not wrong, but that doesn't mean it should be done in public places, especially when they start touching private parts. It's gross," I said while pinning my eyes on my phone screen to see the time.

"Wait, I can sense jealousy radiating from you," she giggled. "Don't worry. We'll find a guy who can kiss you in public."

"No, thanks. I can live without someone kissing me," I rolled my eyes and closed my phone. "Let's go to the bookstore now. The good books might be all sold out if we stay here long."

Jealous? Why would I be jealous of that couple?

Never in my entire lucid dreams have I wanted to be kissed like that, ever. Remembering how they kissed made me think of how Christian licked my cheek like a savage sexual freak. My blood boiled again, and I wanted to crush his face if he's only standing in front of me.

Before we could reach the bookstore front, the gifts I received last night came crossing in my mind, wanting me to know immediately who sent them. I stared at Lea, thinking she's one of the people behind it. I mean, she's the only one who knows exactly what my tastes for books are.

"Hey, can I ask you something?" I asked her as we entered the store. "I received flowers, chocolates, and books last night, but I don't know who sent them. You are the only one who knows what I like about books, so I thought you are one of the masterminds. Those are from your cousin, aren't they?"

Confusion drew in her face. "What? Hell no! Nathaniel arrived eight in the evening, and he stayed at the house the whole time."

"But the sender sent me books that I like. No one knows my type of books except you. And the dedication that was written on the card is in French. Nathaniel is French, right?"

"Yup, but anyone can write French now. We have Google translator, remember? And even if Nathaniel likes you, he's not the type of guy who sends stuff like that," she answered as she picked a romance book from the third level of the shelf. "So tell me, how long have been this mystery guy sending you flowers and books?"

"Just yesterday. I have no idea who that guy is, and I will not waste my time knowing who he is. If he continues sending me books, then my shelves are always willing to accept them. But I'm afraid that the sender might cross the limits and do something bad to me."

"Those are just flowers and books, Eunice. It only means that the sender admires you."

"That guy is taking candid pictures of me. He's stalking me everywhere I go, and I'm not comfortable with that. That's not admiration anymore. It's more like an obsession. And obsessed men tend to be dangerous."

"Eunice, why are you always considering men as bad guys? Do not generalize them. I mean, not all men are the same as what you think they are. There are still men out there who know how to value us, women," Lea faced me with her eyes screaming sympathy, her voice soft.

I couldn't help myself but feel like I was wrong for thinking like that, but men are really dangerous. They're nice at first, and when they got what they want, they'll leave like a toy of no use.

"You know my story, Lea. So you can't blame me for thinking like that," I said, my voice cold and my sight pinned on the shelf at the back.

"I know, but it's a matter of choice, Eunice. If you choose to think that every man you encounter along the way is like your dad, you'll end up thinking that all men in the world are as dangerous as him who doesn't know how to value women."

She left me unable to come up with anything to say. My heart was crushed as her words proved me wrong about how I think of men. She's right, but as of now, changing the way I think seemed impossible.

"I have to go to the other shelf. I need to find the book written by Tristan Yaco," I forced myself to face her as if I wasn't affected by what she said. "I'll be back."

She bobbed her head and forced a smile, then focused on finding the best books she was looking for.

As I neared the last shelf in the store, the musky scent filled the cold air from the inverter. I tracked it, and it led me to the werewolf books corner. The hooded guy stood in there with three books in his left hand, and his right hand was reaching for another book on the top shelf. I found my courage to go near him to see who he is, and I was shocked when the origin of the scent was my worst nightmare in the shape of Christian Luis.

"Christian?"

The books he was holding fell to the floor as he faced me, his face surprised.

"E-Eunice," he stuttered. He kneeled to get the fallen books and tried to hide them from me. "W-What are you doing here?" he asked reluctantly.