phases of the moon

IV. The Visits

It wasn't until a few months later that they found out that Yukiko was pregnant. This was seemingly the catalyst for the influx of Yoshiteru's visits. Rin did tell him he was welcome anytime and being overprotective seemed to be the first word in Yoshiteru's vocabulary.

Oftentimes, Yukiko wouldn't shy away from whining at her brother, telling her that she was 'absolutely fine!' and urged him to 'trust in me more, brother! seriously!' before stomping away to have some time alone.

Rin can't keep the smile off his face when he first sees this.

"Don't mind," He laughs, stepping next to a dumbstruck Yoshiteru. "She did the exact same thing to me when I tried doting on her when we first found out."

"She's certainly strong willed. I hope your children don't take after that, else you'll never see peace again," Yoshiteru sighs.

Rin nods, letting a silence fall in between them before. "Why don't you stay? Let's have dinner, Yoshiteru-san."

***

No matter Yukiko's persistence to be left alone and given a chance to mature and grow on her own, Yoshiteru still visited the estate. However, he knows better now than to directly come to her. Instead he took all his questions and concerns to Rin. It made common sense after all, he was her husband. No matter the reason why, Rin enjoyed it when Yoshiteru came up to talk to him.

His visits often lead them to the courtyard after dinner, with a bottle of sake nestled in between them. Rin admits the increasing familiarity between them was something he was selfishly enjoying. The bond growing between them could be platonic, or familial, or brotherly, and he'd still look at Yoshiteru like he hung up the stars in the sky.

How immoral of me, Rin scolds himself as he yet again catches himself looking longingly at Yoshiteru.

"Darling," Yukiko's soft voice beckons from behind them. She pouts at the sight of her brother. "I'll be heading to bed now, don't stay up with my bad influence of a brother now." She teases, playfully sticking her tongue out at the older male. Yukiko leans in and kisses Rin, a gesture Rin has grown accustomed to. He had to be a good husband, he repeats again in his head.

He doesn't notice the way Yoshiteru grips his cup tighter.

Yukiko bids them good night again, her footsteps slowly fading until they are left with nothing but calm again. Rin brings his cup up to his lips, throwing his head back and letting the bitter liquid rush down his throat. "Yoshiteru," Rin addresses him informally. He continues when Yoshiteru turns his head to him.

"Why do you frequent the estate so often? I assume it's to check up on Yukiko." Yoshiteru's lips downturn, and Rin scrambles to amend the conversation. "Don't get me wrong! I like your company, but wouldn't your own wife prefer it if her husband was with her?"

A few beats pass before Yoshiteru finally answers him. He empties his cup and grips it with both hands. "My wife...Natsumi, she's gone. She's been gone for a while now." Rin stares at him with wide eyes, mentally kicking himself for bringing up an obviously sensitive topic.

"Im sorry Yoshiteru, you don't have to—"

"It's okay." Yoshiteru doesn't look up at him as he pours himself more sake. "If I tell you how she passed, you might understand why I visit often." Rin nods and leans in towards him. "I'll listen."

A forlorn look sits on Yoshiteru's face, his features are gentle and it's a sight Rin never thought he'd be able to see. "We just got married when it happened, I had to travel for a few weeks. My father needed men for his growing army, she asked if she could visit her grandparents. She tagged along with me when we left and I was supposed to pick her up on the way home—"

Yoshiteru pauses to take another gulp of his drink, hurriedly pouring yet another glass after. "I come back to her in rubble. The tiny village I left her in was massacred by the Mayamoto's of the south." Yoshiteru brings the cup up again, pressing his forehead against the edge of it as he dug a hole on the ground with his gaze.

"I can't be away from my loved ones for long. It scares me. That I'll come back and they're not there anymore." He admits, showing clear motive for his back and forth trips between estates.

Rin feels his heart tug fiercely against itself as he watches Yoshiteru in pain. "I know how that feels." He replies, lifting a hand up and laying it securely on the small of Yoshiteru's back.

"I lost my older brother in a similar way." Rin tells him. " He was the one my father adored; he was reliable, strong, smart." He looks up and Yoshiteru is now looking at him. "You kind of remind me of him, Yoshiteru. He left home on duty as well." The retelling doesn't leave Rin as distraught as the older man, he couldn't remember much of his brother as he lost him very young.

"He never came back?"

"He never came back."

Silence settles in between them again and Rin's hand never leaves its place on Yoshiteru's back. It felt like it belonged there. His gaze stays on him as well, maybe it was the vulnerability of the moment, or maybe it was the alcohol in their system, but Rin leans and stays close.

His head is fuzzy, it's warm like his heart. He wants to lean in further but his mind keeps repeating 'a good husband' over and over. He struggles to control himself. But it's no use, Yoshiteru makes the decision for him when he leans in for a kiss.

Rin makes the decision to kiss back.