phases of the moon

VI. His Departure and Return

It was.

Morning comes, and Rin wakes up in his private hall alone. He is immediately filled with worry but it doesn't take him long to find Yukiko. She looks just as upset as he was.

"Darling...?" He asks softly before she quickly wraps her arms around him. She can feel her tears on his chest. "The war horn, they sounded it early this morning. Brother left without saying goodbye." Rin moves to hold his wife, the same fear and grief in him.

He didn't get to see Yoshiteru go, but he spends every day after that wishing he could come home.

Yoshiteru does return. However, he does not walk into the estate grounds by his own two feet. There is no arms wide open stance, no calming smile or uplifting laughter. Yoshiteru is brought home by a messenger boy. He scrambles through the clan gates and is brought to Yukiko's room.

Yukiko begins to cry when Yoshiteru is laid in front of her.

His sword.

His folded Kimono.

And Two Letters.

Yukiko clutches her stomach and looks at the spread in front of her. This is all that is left of her brother. The man whom she thought would pester and protect her for the rest of her life, is reduced to his mere possessions. The boy offers to tell her what happened but she shakes her head. "I...I'd rather not. Please deliver this news to my father and brother." She lets out a shaky breath, her eyes looking over at the young boy in front of her, she keeps her hand on the small bump on her body.

So young, and already caught up in war. "Tell my lady-in-waiting that you should eat, first. As my thanks for this news."

She watches him scurry away before, with a shaky hand, reaching over to the only envelope with a name. 'Yukiko' is written in a hurry.

Yukiko hesitates for a moment, something inside her tells her that she already knows what's in there. A confession.

To my little sister,

I am sorry. Perhaps, I had too much love left in me after Natsumi's passing that I had to love your own husband. Through my selfishness, I made him love me in return.

Although, you've always been very perceptive, haven't you? This probably doesn't come to you as news. Therefore I ask for even more forgiveness. I continued with my actions despite having the knowledge that you might figure out this affair of ours.

But I must selfishly ask of you something, here in my death. I ask that you love Rin twice as much. For the both of us. I promise to watch over you two in spirit as repentance. Even in the afterlife I will fight tooth and nail to make sure you two are safe.

Now that I am gone, please reconcile, be strong, be together.

Your Protective Older Brother

Yoshiteru

Yukiko bites down on her lip, she was right. This letter proved every single thought and speculation she had kept in her mind. It angered her that she was not even upset at the two men that fooled her.

She doesn't give herself time to weep, picking up the second letter and walking to her husband's private hall.

She slides the door open and the look on her face strikes Rin with a multitude of emotions. "Brother is home," She murmurs, holding up the second letter. She sits next to Rin, his shaky hands taking the parchment from her,

"Read it," Yukiko says, lifting a hand up to run it through Rin's hair. "I'll be right here.

My beloved,

You who are my sunshine, rain, ground, wind. I hope you find it in yourself to forgive me for so selfishly having left you. I had promised you things that I could not keep. I should've left that night we first kissed.

If I had, then my death wouldn't cause the two of you this much grief.

If I had, then you wouldn't have fallen in love with me. Maybe you would have learned to fall in love with my sister.

But I didn't. I selfishly stay in your life. I loved every moment with you, Rin.

I love your whole being, understanding and gentle. You brought in me a softness I never thought I deserved to have.

I am not a good man, and yet, you loved me all the same.

Maybe, after our transgressions, we will be born again. Together. In that life hopefully we are no longer unfaithful to nature, to others, and to ourselves, as loving each other is not a sin. I loved being with you but having to hide filled me with grief, even to my death bed, I wish to have loved you freely.

I wish to be reborn in a world like that with you. Please meet me there again.

Yoshiteru

END.