Behind Closed Doors

Roses

Jamie

We were lying in my bed one morning and I was incredibly sore. Flinching as I turned, Chris let out a gasp and jumped out of bed. "Crap, be right back." I heard her running downstairs, a few slams and then running back upstairs. "This going to be cold."

"Oh, mother fucker of...why Chris!?"

"That looks particularly nasty. We need to get that swelling down."

"It's all your fault, you know." I didn't mean to make her feel guilty and her face fell, and her response came out in barely a whisper.

"I know..."

"Hey. It was your bright spark idea to go paint balling yesterday and that area hurts like a mother fucker."

"I love it when you talk vulgar..." Chris wiggled her eyebrows making me chuckle.

"Good job I love you, you know."

"I more than know. Anytime we are apart for work purposes, it feels as though a part of me is missing."

"Aww you big softy!"

"Shush."

"Can I ask you something?" I turned and faced Chris, wincing in the process which made her pull a face in unison with me.

"Sure, you know you can." I looked into her eyes and smiled and kissed her briefly on her lips..

"I'm curious to know why you keep leaving roses on my doorstep." Chris's body stiffened and then the look upon her face said it all. "They aren't from you, are they?"

"No, they are not. How long have you been receiving them?" I know Chris is going to hit the roof when I tell her.

"Since Jordan was here and encouraged me to hook up with you."

"Fuck..." Chris got out of bed and started pacing the floor. I could see the thoughts literally running through her head and wearing down my bedroom floor. The chewing of her cheek, the muttering under her breath, the shaking of her head. "It's a call card." My eyes went wide, and I intuitively knew what she was implying. "I can't have you in danger Jamie, I really can't. If anything were to happen to you, I would never, ever forgive myself."

"Nothing is going to happen to me."

"That cannot be guaranteed." Chris walked over to the nightstand and grabbed her phone and sent off a text message.

"Chris, your pacing is getting a little annoying, please sit down."

"What part of this are you not getting? You are at risk. That was always their call card to worry whoever they were hounding. You won't see them in plain sight, but they are always watching." I grabbed Chris as she sat down, ignoring my pain. "They will undoubtedly make me move now."

"But it has been months Chris. Almost six months to be exact. Surely if they were going to do something by now, they would have." Chris sat on the edge of the bed and slumped her head into her arms. I slipped my body behind her and wrapped my arms around her waist. I softly kissed her neck. "Please don't worry, we can get through this, together." Chris remained silent and I rested my cheek on her shoulder blade and squeezed her gently. I felt her hands move over mine and I smiled as she rested them on top of them.

"I'm scared Jamie."

"You have every reason to be scared Chris, but why don't we wait and see whatever information comes back from the program and we will take it from there."

"Okay."

Chris

I honestly cannot believe this. It has taken all my strength not to fully breakdown and cry like a baby. I know that they will separate us, maybe not straight away, but eventually, if the risk becomes too much, I'm gone, and I will have no way in contacting Jamie. I excused myself from Jamie's warm embrace and went to the bathroom and ran the shower. I need to get organised for work and hopefully Trev is on shift today, he will be able to help me, surely?