Groom Wars

4. Exchanging Insults

The week passed faster than I had expected, and it was already Saturday. I had uploaded "I'm With You" to YouTube in the morning, and it had a little over a thousand views and a hundred likes. I knew I wasn't famous, but somewhere out there, fifteen thousand people cared enough to subscribe to me. That had to mean something, right?

The time for the ball at the new earl's house had arrived. Despite my internal protests and last-minute cold feet, Eve attempted to use threats to get me to put on my tuxedo and get my ass in the car.

I knew most of the rich people in our community didn't like me. But according to Eve and my father, I needed to make connections, and there were plenty of men who had issues with their sexual organs; it wasn't a big deal. Eve said that if I kept overreacting, I would inspire others to continue teasing me. And my father said that the boys from my school would eventually get bored and move onto other things, and I would be nothing more than a passing memory. It was easy for him to say that when he wasn't constantly called a sissy or a eunuch.

It turned out I didn't really have any choice as to whether I stayed or went as my father made me get dressed, half-carried me downstairs and out the front door, then stuffed my body into the car and locked the door next to me.

We drove through the city for forty-five minutes in silence, surrounded by skyscrapers and brilliant lights. We met a few traffic jams before we managed to leave the city behind and drive down a country road with lots of greenery on either side. Along the way, we glimpsed ferns, pine, and maple trees. A few minutes later, we turned the car onto the winding driveway that led to Rose Manor. The manor was carved from cream stone and had many arches and spirals. I counted dozens of windows. How many rooms were there? A dozen? A hundred? A garden wrapped around the side of the house and disappeared towards the back. In it, I glimpsed the curious pink petals of orchids, the haunting yet vibrant purplish-blue blooms of delphiniums, and the slender bodies of lilies.

The driveway was crowded, and we slowly inched along in our vehicle. I, who hadn't wanted to come, crossed my arms over my chest and complained about feeling faint, but the others ignored me as they were prone to. They had this magical ability to tune me out. A millennium later, my song breached a thousand likes, and we reached the building's landing. By landing, I mean we arrived at the foot of the steps where we got out of the car, and a valet took our car keys and drove it off into oblivion.

My father kept his hand on my back as we went up the stairs, whispering to me about the state of each person's affairs; who was now divorced, who had lost money on a bad investment and so on. His voice was like an endless stream of background noise that blended in with the chatter and excitement of the partygoers around me. I should pay attention as these were keynotes that I should remember for future conversations with the aforementioned individuals.

Instead of his boring talk, I thought about how, after dieting for this pompous event, I could finally eat a proper meal with salt and fats once it was past. A cheeseburger? No, that was thinking too small. A girl died from eating too much at once, so it was best not to go overboard. I needed a healthy medium. Spanish food. Why not?

I would die for a chicken empanada. My mouth watered, and my stomach stirred. I told my belly to stay calm; it would be fed soon. Should I have diablo sauce? Hmm... maybe not. I wasn't a fan of spice.

A butler wearing a black ducktail jacket met us in the manor's entryway and led us across the marble floor. Above us were fancy glass chandeliers. We went down a few twisting halls before we travelled down a corridor with exquisite paintings. Below each piece of art, I noticed a gold plaque with the artist's name engraved. I could hear the gentle sound of instruments playing classical music. We were getting close. The butler told us, "Do not touch. All of these paintings cost more than a hundred grand, and we try to keep them well-preserved." His eyes raked me in from head to toe.