Groom Wars

12. Goodbye

The night before I left for Groom Wars, I lay on my bed, staring at the glow-in-dark stars Forrester and I had stuck to my ceiling a long time ago. I wondered if he would be present for my send-off. I had rejected his proposal and registered for a show created by the man who had killed his parents. He had every right to hate me. To never want to see me again. Hell, if I were him, I would have nothing to do with me.

Darkness covered my room like a blanket.

Forrester wanted me to be his wife?

Me?

I was a human chimera, a confused mixture of male and female—an anomaly.

Why would anyone love me?

I knew we were more than our bodies; we were also our minds and thought, but the fact was, we had bodies, and people judged us based on how we looked. And since my body didn't perfectly fit either gender, I received hate from both genders.

But the worst part of it was, I hated myself. I didn't want to, but I did. If I could tear the flesh from my bones to be free, I would have. My mind might be genderless, but it was housed in my gendered body. Imprisoned.

With those cursed thoughts swarming around my head, I held my teddy bear Kodi to my chest and eventually fell asleep to the lull of the silence.

***

When I awoke, my father tried to feed me a large breakfast of French toast, scrambled eggs, and sausage, but I had no appetite. My mother, a dainty woman with maroon skin and eyes as dark and as beautiful as the midnight sky, kissed me on my cheek and made sure I had everything. She looked innocent and harmless, but she was the one who had designed and built my prosthetic penises; she was, by no means, someone to underestimate or belittle.

Time seemed to drag by slowly. I received no messages from Forrester though I had told him I would be leaving today. My family and I went out onto the front porch with my two suitcases and knapsack as we waited for my ride.

It was my first time leaving home alone, aside from visiting relatives, and my father was nervous about letting me go. I knew he was anxious because he hadn't been able to eat his breakfast, and he suffered from constipation, which only served to sour his already awful temper. My father, who, since Forrester's proposal, had taken to dislike the idea of me spending time with any member of the male sex, said, "When was the last time you saw the blonde dog?"

"Leandro?"

"We don't have to give it a name, sweetheart."

My mother said, "Be nice, Kevin; Leandro seems like a well-mannered fellow."

"You said the same thing about Forrester, my love, and he proposed, didn't he?"

My youngest sister stuffed her hands into pockets of her black pinafore dress and spun to make the skirt flare. As she drew everyone's attention, she beamed, tucked herself beneath my father's beefy arm, and said, "The question is, Papa, is Leandro gay, or does he know Adriel is a girl?"

I said, "He's neither gay nor does he have any reason to suspect me of being anything other than a guy. We are friends; that is all."

Eve chuckled; it was a dry, sarcastic laugh of an evil villain. She said, "You and Forrester were friends, and looked how well that turned out for us."

My father said, "You get yourself entangled with so many men, Adriel. If you were a girl, I would send you to a nunnery."

My sisters laughed.

I said, "Dad.... That's not true." I placed my head on his shoulder and pouted. My cute attack didn't shake him. He grunted and fixed his cold gaze on the road.