IN NOX, SUM VERITAS━━DRACO MALFOY

nine. alexithymia

━━━━  · 。ﾟ☆ .☽ .* ☆ﾟ. ━━━━

(n.) the inability to express
your feelings

FAIR AND WELL AT THIS POINT, DRACO HAD BECOME TWO SIDES OF THE SAME COIN. On one end was a bright, burning sun, the side that he presented during the day, that brazing confidence he carried throughout the school, that chin of his jutted just so.  And then there was a moon on the other, that was the side he had found himself showing Louis the other night—a certain kind of softness that he didn't show to many people, revealing to Louis a bit of that cracked marble hull of his, that newfound vulnerability that was beginning to blossom. There was a line separating the two of them. It wasn't very thin, however, there were not too many chances that the two were to ever come together and cause a collision.

The more and more that vulnerability began to bleed through and expose itself, the more and more the adolescent Icarus's wax wings began to melt, the teenaged god was closer to becoming a mortal, and the prince was nearing being knocked off his high horse. There was no turning back now as Draco was slowly being pulled apart at the seams, that war that was waging on in his head causing more of a ruckus and getting bloodier by the minute. After he had been thrown into that chasm that was brimming with an abundance of prodding inquiries, haunting him in his wake and in sleep, he was challenged to call into question everything he's ever known since his conception about who he is as a person. All the information he had been fed and taken willingly was now being picked apart by a boy with eyes that were azure and oceans deep.

Draco had lain awake that night, mulling over what had happened between the two of them atop the Astronomy Tower. He had no idea what had come out of his mouth the other night, going on about how there were too many stars in the sky that he couldn't possibly trust them all, gods willing, and how only trusting Louis would be worse of a choice because there was only one of him, whatever that could've possibly meant. Some part of that proclamation had must've reigned true because that may have been the calmest Draco's ever felt since he had stepped foot into Hogwarts this year and that scared him, the feeling of wanting to crawl out of his skin making a subtle return at the realization of it.

He had thought about how close in proximity he and Louis had been up there, always a foot within the other's space, however, that was mainly due to Louis always invading it. Draco could see a freckle or two decorating the bridge of Louis's nose, that was how close they had been. His chest had constricted the same way it had always done, that serpent wrapping around his ribcage. He had wanted to run, to flee back to the dungeons and hide away and never come back out but he couldn't, not after how Louis grabbed him like that, a gentle wrapping of his fingers around his elbow, squeezing just the tiniest bit. You're okay. Sometimes he could still feel it, the ghost of Louis's touch still lingering.

Four nights passed and Louis was up in the Astronomy Tower once more, however, this time, he had homework to finish. His telescope was out, pointing out the constellation that ruled over October to kick off the beginning of the month. He was in the middle of writing down the names and locations of the stars in the constellation when he heard the door to the tower open. Looking up, he saw Draco standing in the doorway, still just as awkward as he had been a week ago.