The Bridge Between Life and Death (Levihan)

3) coming clean

Hange POV:

"We need to talk" Levi said. As if I didn't already know that. but how am I supposed to tell the person I love, even if it is 1 sided, that I'm dying. How do I respond to that? Do I wait for him to ask questions or do I start? I shimmy along my bed so there is enough room for Levi, then I gesture for the book and then I pull the covers back and pat the space next to me, in which he comes sits in.

"I am assuming you have read this, shorty"

he nods slowly, his eyes flicking over the two pages as if reading it more would distort the truth of the matter.

"Well you ask me questions, ask me what you want to know and I will answer if I can"

he paused and thought for a moment. the cogs in his brain ticking over like clockwork.

"How long has this been going on?" Levi asked

'The blood or just the cough?" I retaliated

"both"

"I started coughing about 2 weeks ago but the blood has only come the past 3/4 days, I can't really remember"

"If you were to die, which you won't, how long does it take??" a look of concern pained his face as he asked this

I paused, not sure if I should tell the truth or not, but I decided I should "Normally around" I gulped, scared to see his reaction, he probably thought we had more time "3 months"

He showed no facial emotion but I can tell by the sharp intake of breath he took, he was mightily shocked.

"Who knows?" He asked, carrying on as if the last answer didn't hurt him

"you" I said blatantly 

"And" he enquired

"Only you" I responded quickly and quietly, as if he would brush over it

"What did you plan on doing when you got worse and people started to notice Four Eyes?"

He called me four eyes again. most people hate that name, but for me, its a comfort, it's something between me and Levi that we share, like an inside joke but better. he knows I like it.

"Im not sure, I haven't thought about that yet. That part was all to come"

"What effect do you think your death would have on me, Four Eyes?"

I snap my head around to look at him. That was the last thing I expected to hear. I had never considered what other people may think, I thought I would just be another statistic, I was sure. Now I'm not so confident. I have a family here. But so did Petra and in the end, she was just a number, everyone is.

"I would be a statistic Levi" I say Levi to show I'm being deadly serious "You would be fine without me, I'm not that important to the team anyway. I am just the weird, dirty, mediocre at fighting, titan freak. Im not humanities strongest like you, you are valued, nobody would bat an eyelid at me" before I realise it, my insecurities come tumbling out of my mouth before I can stop them.

there is silence, even rude mouthed Levi has nothing to say to that, no snarky or sarcastic comment.

"Please forget what I just said" I scrambled through my words. I look at a concerned Levi, his head bowed down so I couldn't see his face. we stay like this for about 10 seconds but what felt like an eternity. He finally looked up, tears in his eyes but not enough for them to spill, as if he were trying to conceal them and put on a brave front.

Levi POV:

"Why would you think that Hange?"

"..." Nothing came from Hanges mouth

"How long have you felt like this Hange?"

"Levi please forge-"

"Hange. you mean more than that to me. do you not see how you're the most important person to me?!" I could tell she was welling up and I was too. I didn't stop there though. "You aren't humanities strongest, you're humanities smartest. If it wasn't for you we wouldn't know half of what we do now. You were the one who made those bombs that only work on the titans. None of us could've figured that out, but you did. Hange, you're one of the most valued people on our team. If anyone is more than a statistic..." I grabbed the top of her hair and spun her around to face me (like they did on the horse in s1) I looked her dead in the eye and whispered "...its you"

"I-uhh-Levi. you mean that?"

"Yes" there is another pause before she practically launches herself at me, her arms wrapping around me in a heartfelt embrace. She smiled a big grin, that is the only thing Hange was hygienic about, her teeth, which was handy because she was always smiling. she has such a warm smile, its so beautiful. I gave her a sheepish smile which she laughed at.

"Hange..."

"Yes shorty"

"Promise me you will never feel like that again"

"I promise" she says it but it doesnt feel like a completely genuine promise but its enough for now.

For a while we carried on discussing symptoms but we ended up just talking, the two of us like we always do. well, hange  blabbering on and me just listening, she is definitely the more talkative one of the relationship- I mean friendship. we talked about when we first met and Hange told me about her childhood, she loved to indulge me on the "Happy times" before she watched her parents get killed when she was 14 and before the titans got through the walls. She knows enough about my past to not ask questions, but she is more than content to tell me random stories of her as a mischievous child. 

"Once this is all over. and if I survive whatever this is" she continued "I want a child Shorty, one that I can make laugh and give the best life"

I just nodded, I know she doesn't mean with me but deep down I wish we could just settle down somewhere and have a child, just the two of us. Wait, why am I thinking this?! I don't like Hange like that, do I? I mean I have thought like this for a while.

Hange POV:

I love Levi, I understand it now. When I picture this future, I picture it with him. I picture everything with Levi. He has always been there for me, I need to make sure he knows my feelings before I die. Even if he doesn't return them, he deserves to know.

Levi POV: 

we both seem to be deep in thought. I wonder what she is thinking of. in the end I snap out of my day dream and remember the harsh reality of what could happen to Hange if we don't get a move on and save her.

"So Four Eyes..."

"Yes Shorty"

"What is our plan of action?"

"What do you mean?"

"How are we going to save you, and without anyone finding out?

Hange smirked mischievously, Oh Goodness, she is a case.

AN: I wrote this at 2am when I had a creativity burst and I must admit it was the quickest I've ever written a chapter. Also, Im planning on releasing this all at once so you guys won't have to wait for chapters to be released everyweek. Also, has everyone been watching the new episodes lately, Ive read the manga so I know what will happen, its amazing though. Honestly, can't get over how incredibly complex it is. anyways have a nice day

word count: 1291