To Forgive, Divine | A Human Code Short Story

FIVE

Never say goodbye because goodbye means going away, and going away means forgetting

*

Eating was never a requirement for me, but I did it to keep appearances alive. A small piece of pernil, little serving of rice. It was all I needed to join in at Christmas dinner. And after hours of drinks, laugh, and cheer, I was able to leave the table with Mary in hand.

Only, as we approached the top of the stairs towards my bedroom, she stopped for a moment, staring at me with wide eyes. "Oh, this brings back memories," she whispered, glancing down the stairs.

"Does it?" I frowned, looking at her. "From when we were kids?"

"Yeah..." Mary shot me a weak smile. "I know it... it probably didn't cross over to your new memory storage, it's fine. I just—" Mary paused before stepping towards me, close to me, her chin against my arm. "Well, you would sneak me up into your room all the time. We were little rebels, once upon a time."

"Once upon a time?" I chuckled. "You sound like Wendy and her endless fairy tales."

"I like the idea of fairy tales." As we continued down the hall towards my bedroom, Mary giggled. "It's better to believe in something magical than believe in nothing at all."

My hand settled on my doorknob, but I didn't push the door open. What Mary said hit me, settled on my ears like a whisper pulling at data files I hadn't needed to see in so long. Glimpses of Mary, young and running out from our high school, came to mind. I had to smile for a moment because for so long I believed in that—her running towards me. I held on to my family, my sister, but I never wanted to let Mary go.

Believe in something magical than believe in nothing at all.

Data saved.

"Everything okay?" Mary's eyes searched mine. "What did you want to show me?"

"First, what you said," I nodded once before smiling, "did you mean it?"

"That it's better to believe?" she asked me.

I nodded.

"I do." She smiled, too, just as wide as I did. "It gives someone hope, a new light to look forward to. I held on to the past for so long, I couldn't... I couldn't see the good in front of me." Mary gripped my hand tight before kissing the sleeve of my shirt. "I'm glad I opened my eyes now. Regardless of how the world is, I'm happy. I'm happy I see you."

The doorknob turned slowly in my hand. "And I'm happy I see you," I said to her, looking into her eyes. "And what you said, I'm happy you said that, too."

"Which part?" Following me into my room, Mary slowly turned as she looked at the walls. "Well, this hasn't changed much, has it?" she giggled right after.

"No." Walking over to my desk, I pulled out my chair and sat on it. "Not much at all."

Mary moved over to my bed and slid her hands across the black sheets. Her fingers paused at the folds before flattening them out. Nice and neat. "Do you sleep here?"

"Just like I sleep with you." I placed my hands under my chin as I crossed my leg. "It's no different."

"I know, I..." Blushing, Mary sat on the corner of my bed. "It's just, here you're meant to follow old Bionics protocols. A charging pad was an agreed attachment if—"

"If I relay data stating I'm intact and sane." I tapped the side of my head. "I do that just fine there," I pointed at my bed, "just like I do on a pad. Besides, it's comfortable. Who can say no to comfy pillows?

Mary reached back for one of my pillows, placing it on her lap as she hugged it tight. Her dark eyes looked at me as she smiled. "You have a point. I can't argue with that."

"Right." Turning my chair slightly, I glanced at my computer before looking at Mary once again. "Now, about what you said, holding on to the past and being unable to see what's in front of you."

"What about it?" She blinked twice.

Curious. Eager. Concerned.

"That's what I wanted to show you tonight." Moving forward, I rested my arms on my legs and cupped my hands between them. "Letting go of the past. Moving on. Forgiving."

"I do forgive you," Mary said quietly. "And I hoped... you've forgiven me, too."

"I have." Lowering my head, I lifted just my eyes to look at her. I felt a pull on my chest, sparks under my skin. Fireworks. "I forgave you a long time ago."

"Then?" she whispered the word.

I slid my hand up and through my hair. "Remember, my parents' anniversary party? What Wendy showed you?"

Mary straightened, her grip on my pillow loosening a bit. "Rory..." she whispered his name at first before her eyes widened. "Rory's file? Yes, I... I remember it, but Javi, I don't know, I mean, I—"

Lifting my head, I looked at her. "Before you say anything else, I want you to remember what you just told me. About letting the past go."

The look in Mary's eyes softened. Because what I said... was exactly what she'd said. Let the past go. Look ahead, see a new light. And I remember the excited squeal she let out that night of my parents' anniversary. I knew, despite it all, she was happy to see the old file belonging to her first best friend. Despite what he'd done, it was good to see his name.

So, as she bit her lip, I smiled. "I've forgiven him," I said. "Even after everything he's done, everything he did to Wendy, my family... I... I forgave him."

"You're too good, Javi," Mary whispered, closing her eyes. "I was happy to see his file wasn't erased, but to forgive him? To really forget everything he'd done, I..."

Rolling forward on my chair, I reached for Mary's hand. "It was all a chain effect, Mary. The way we treated him led to his behavior, just as my treatment led to mine."

"Yeah, but you weren't trying to kill people. You weren't—"

"Because I still had someone who loved me, acknowledged me." At my words, pain flashed over Mary's eyes. But what I'd said was true. Through it all, after my recreation, I had Wendy with me through most of my days. She was my light when I couldn't see any; a tiny guardian angel who wouldn't let me fall. "Rory didn't have that."

"He did..." Mary looked away from me as soon as she let out her lie. "I loved Rory, he was my friend."

"But you also neglected him and left him alone to focus on bigger, better things."

When we locked eyes, I knew, without the help of my computers, that Mary was aware of what I meant. We knew what damage had been done, the truth of it all. But tonight wasn't a time to focus on the negatives, to bring up the pains of the past.

I want to make her happy...

"Okay." Mary gulped. "Are you giving me his file?"

"No." After I spoke, I shrugged. "Well, sure, if you want it. He's ready for it."

"Ready?" Mary's brow pulled close together. "If he's just a file, how can he be ready?"

"Well..." Letting go of her hands, I turned in my seat and smiled as I pressed the power button on my computer. For a moment, there wasn't a reaction or a program beginning its usual load-up. It was just black.

Clearing my throat, I tapped into my internal computers, but commanded out loud, so Mary could hear. "Open file, Rory.exe."