Bruises [L.S]

ink n skin

A/N:

TW// self harm, suicidal thoughts, depression, abuse, eating disorders

welcome back, ive been updating a lot because anxiety is a bitch and writing helps me get rid of the stress.

anygays freaking enjoy i guess

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HARRYS POV:

"its like my lungs closed off any access to air, i kept trying to breath until i lost control. my body fell numb, my world went dark, all i could hear was my breathing. in out in out in out in out in out in out. constantly. my legs felt weak, my chest was burning, my lung still shut close, my hands sweaty. only thing i could feel was his thumb circling my back. around n around n around n around my back. he never lifted his thumb off my back. i could hear the faint words of faggot or cockslut from the other two. i felt my heart sink. i felt angry at the fact she called him lou, because i know how much it hurts him when anyone else says that. i felt terrified thinking i was going to get beat up again, but not from him. i felt useless, confused, sad, anything but happy. the situation out of my control until i found myself back on his beat up sofa. i felt him start to breath with me, this time his thumb doing a square motion on my leg. breathe in, hold, breathe out, hold, breathe in, hold, breathe out, hold. i felt exhausted, my body still numb, but eye lids starting to close on their own, my throat dry even though i felt myself swallow water, my leg still bouncing but finally my lungs let in air. i could see again, i could hear normally. i felt myself being lifted up, seeing the floor moved from under me, being placed down onto a soft surface, the blinds closing and me asking him to stay. the last thing i remember is him telling me he would always stay. i fell a sleep feeling guilty knowing he had to go through that, witness me breakdown. i still feel guilty because i couldnt help him with what he was feeling"

"i dont think you understand how proud i am of you right now harry"

"what do you mean?"

"the first time we met. that was what? three four years ago? you were very closed off. didnt say more than two word sentences" she looked down at her notebook flipping the page.

"uhm thank you dr thomas" i looked at my leg that had finally stopped shaking.

"weve talked about this, please call my carrie." she laughed taking out her pen writing someone i couldnt see in her book. "you understand how long its been since youve had one of these right?"

i nodded mumbling "a year and a half" looking down at my hands, starting to pick at my nails. but not so muh as to where they bleed. remembering the incident

(flashback)

"harry come on we are going to be late" mum called from the entrance. "they already dont like us" she called again

"coming mum" i ran out of my room buttoning up my shirt."wheres gemma?" i asked looking around the corner into the kitchen and down the hall to the living room.

"already in the car, now come on" she pleaded handing me my coat which i very well didnt need for an out door wedding, in summer might i add. we hopped in the car and mum drove as fast as we could. after a while we realized we still needed to stop and get some gas. "you and gemma want something from the gas station"

"please we have been driving for an hour im thristy" gemma whined.

"oh my god you are literally an adult shut the hell up" i back panned. seriously shes nineteen almost twenty.

we both ran into the gas station holding a tener each. "want a soda h?" i hear gem call from the back of the store. "i will take a water thanks" i called back scanning the isle for some crisps. i finally decided fuck it and grab whatever type of walkers crisps i laid my eyes on first then running up to the cashier