JeanMarco: Imperfections

20-Marco

Now did I do something wrong? No I don't think. I was only saying the truth, like you should in a healthy relationship. I understand Jean, he just needed some time to process things. I curled up on the couch and closed my eyes, waiting for him to come back.

I'm not sure if he was mad at me or not, but I sure wasn't. I still wanted him to hold me and kiss me. I guess I knew he had some anger issues and short temper, so leaving the room was a good way to cope with it. I just hope I didn't upset him too much.

After about fifteen minutes, I sat up again and started up the stairs. I knew he hadn't gone to the bathroom. I figured he was out on the deck or somewhere, smoking, to which I was correct. He was leaving on the railing, facing away from me as I stepped outside. "Jean," I said softly.

He exhaled. "Hmm?"

I leaned against the railing, standing next to him. "Are you mad at me?" I looked down.

"No. Just scared," he said softly and smashed his cigarette into the railing, grumbling, searching for another one right away.

"Is it because I..." I couldn't say it. I felt too weird and it made me feel stupid.

"Fuck," Jean said under his breath. He must have been out of cigarettes. "Marco I'm afraid I'm going to lose you," he looked me in the eyes. I felt, in a sense, isolated when he looked at me. All the attention was on me and I was overcome with anxiety.

"I'm sorry," I turned. "Look, I just came to say bye because my parents said I need to come home now." I looked him in the eye, trying to be an convincing as I could.

"So how are you going to get home?" Jean raised an eyebrow. He was right, he's the one who usually drives me.

My thoughts began racing. I'm so dependent on him. I should just save up for a car. I have my license, but Mom and Dad don't let me drive. I practically live here now too. I should be doing more housework and paying bills. "I'll walk," I finally said and turned. "I just have my backpack and it's not that far of a walk."

Jean was quick to grab my wrist. "Marco don't go." He sounded desperate. "Just a few more minutes, please."

I wanted out of here so bad for some reason. I was getting so irritated by life that I couldn't stand anything. "Jean, I love you," I bit my lip. "I'm sorry I just need to go," I yanked myself away from his grip and ran inside. Jean didn't follow. I saw him again when I was on my way out the door.

"Promise me we'll be together forever?" He took a drink of something, probably alcohol. Fuck I was making him upset and now he's drinking because of me. I ran up to him and threw myself around him, kissing his lips deeply. His breath already tasted of alcohol and it tasted bitter, but sweet.

"Yeah," I whispered. "I won't ever leave you." I told him that, only me knowing that it's a lie. I know I'm stupid, but I can't take it anymore. Good thing Mom and Dad are stupid enough to leave bottles of pills laying unguarded. I just didn't care anymore.

Sorry for the really short chapter. .-.