Wandering Thoughts

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- inspired by: PALETTE - IU FT. G-DRAGON

italics - lyrics (english)

strangely, these days i just like things that are easy-

everyone wants life to be easy. we all know that this is certainly not impossible, but not possible to obtain so easily. there isn't such a thing as impossible especially when we all deserve a not so difficult life.

it is like questioning God (if you are religious and/or believe in God) why did he create the bad things in life, if he created the world?

i learned that there is no meaning in living if you can not face pain or sadness. how can we ever learn to feel happiness if the bad isn't there to show us what we truly want? things have a purpose. there is a reason for everything.

my words may be invalid to you. you may read and feel against how i think or feel, but in your further future you will soon realize it's true.

so in clear reasoning why i brought that up to connect to the desire of an easy life- you will need to know what living a hard life is like, and that living through this is natural.

i like it, i'm twenty five
i know that you like me
i got this, i'm truly fine
i think i know myself a little bit now

every year when you turn an age you will always face not a physical change in your life, but a mentally and emotional change that will always trigger your insecurities to where you will not doubt yourself but others. how they will look at you and judge you based on your age. judging what your suppose to act and be based on the world expectations.

there will always be a change both good and bad every year. expected and not expected. you will learn to value another living year, blessed to turn an age where you can learn, adapt and accept it.

why is it that i like things that are a bit tacky?
rather than pictures, i prefer filled palettes, diaries, times i was asleep

the last four words really hit me. how i feel about this makes me wonder what it would be like if time had just stopped, and for us to just rest. rest from all of this- this pain and suffering. how we all can just lay down, close our eyes and not be able to deal with anything or anyone, but our thoughts that will always just wander freely. exploring ways of endless expectations of what we could have done or say to change the life we are currently living.

when you rest, sleeping to be specific you are fasting, and fasting is when you wilingly refrain yourself from consuming anything to not clear your body but also your soul.

this is in which that we all need to restore ourselves from the negative that surrounds us. to tell ourselves that it's okay, it's okay to just stop and settle down. to be calm and collect all things that makes us and brings us here.

when i'm not a kid or an adult, when i'm just me
i shine the brightest
so don't get scared when the darkness comes
because it's so beautiful, because flowers bloom
you are a child that will always be loved

no matter how old you are, no matter who you, and what you are doing, just know that you are important. that you are loved even if you don't always feel or see it.

everyone has a purpose to be living in a world where it isn't just all sunshine. you can be that sunshine to someone's cloudy day, you are that light to the the darkness. you just need to believe and trust in yourself. you are capable and have the ability to do good for the world. to do good for yourself. people will doubt you, make you feel worthless and so on with negativity.

it is you who needs to turn that negativity into something postive. you are what makes you, you. you can change your life by the way you respond. you have that power and no one can take that away from you. young, old, big, or small. you are you and that's what makes the world go round.

(still have a lot to say)
i like it, i'm twenty five
i know that you hate me
i got this, i'm truly fine
i think i know myself a little bit now

hate me or love me, that is on you. i got this. this is my life and i will live how i want to live with or without you. each day, each year i learn a little about myself even if i have to travel on treacherous road or roads that are smooth and stable. this is my life and i'm going to live it freely.

- 🎨

an: i'm sorry this chapter is a bit messy and not thoroughly read over. it's seven in the morning and my thoughts are cloudy, plus i just got done with an emotional talk with my two little cousins who i had no idea what they were going through in their young life. also, my mum is being very difficult. this woman is scaring me not answering my calls or text. smh. mostly is my fault. well overall, i hope you enjoy and have a bit of an understanding what i'm talking about. thank you for those who are reading my book, and who have made it this far. may you be blessed unconditionally with gentle love and genuine happiness.

written with love and wandering thoughts. ♡

- 🥀