Black Magic (Kellic)

14

I stayed at the coffee shop for a while longer, doing some of the work that I'd been putting off for so long with the gentle white noise of people on quiet business calls around me. I thought that I'd heard Vic's voice right outside if the large window behind me, and so I took my phone out of my pocket and directed the screen out, finding that he and Andy were out there together, arguing. I couldn't really make out what they were saying, mostly because the glass muffled it all, but they we're definitely fighting. Andy looked to be on the defensive at the moment, which meant that Vic probably started the argument. He crossed his arms as Andy made up an excuse, or at least I thought that was what was happening. Vic shook his head and told Andy something. A look of shock flickered across Andy's face, and then he walked away, more sad than irritated. 

Please tell me that I'm not the one who indirectly started this. I don't know if I can handle that sort of pressure. It's just too much. Plus, then this would end up being a cliché where I end up not getting anything I want, apologizing, and then there's a happy ending where I end up getting what I wanted in the first place. I don't want that. Because if I wanted that, then that would make me even more selfish. This is real life, and in real life, you can't just fix your mistakes. Your mistakes define who you are, and they guide who you become. 

And by that logic, I'll never get to win the affection of Vic. 

At the same time, isn't Andy and Vic breaking up exactly what I wanted in the first place? Even when Kevin and I had our little fling, I was thinking about him the whole time. If it would change things. If it would ruin my chances. If it would make him look at me differently. 

Ah, fuck it. I have to know. Whether it hurt me or not, I had to know. I stood up, and went to the door. I saw that Vic was still there, sitting against the glass window. I approached him. "What happened? " I asked. 

He brought his knees up to his chest. "You were right. " 

"What? " I sat next to him, confused 

"Andy wasn't.... He didn't..... He's never there. " He pulled at his hair in frustration and anger. 

"That...... Can't be true. "

"It is. " 

"It's not! " I shouted. Vic looked at me in confusion. "Look, I only said that because I was jealous! I was jealous of your perfect relationship. I wanted to break you up! " Once I said it, I saw that maybe I didn't believe that I deserved forgiveness. How was could I have done this to him? 

"You.... Wanted us to break up? " The question sounded sad, despondent. 

"Yes." 

"I don't understand. How could you not bare to see other people happy? "

"I don't know. " When he put it that way, I seemed so cruel. So very cruel. 

He shook his head. Then he stood and left me. I deserved it, for sure. He was right. How could I have done this to him? To anyone? 

There was a tiny voice at the back of my head, maybe I'd just been working with darkness a little bit too much. Maybe a little bit of that rubbed off on me. Maybe I'm just a person who can't feel love, but rather possession, obsession, fixation, and lust. 

Maybe I'm not so human after all.

And so I ran back into the cafe and rushed into their restroom, and took out a black marker that I'd kept with me. There were no windows in here, and the restroom had a light switch. I took out my phone and used a lighter app to make the candle in the center while I drew a summoning circle around it. I must recall what I said before, at Remington's house. 

By some magical force, I was able to recall the recitation perfectly. I heard his voice once more, that of Satan. But this time I didn't send him away, I let him in. I let him take me over. 

The last thing that I remember was hearing that voice right in my ear, and then I blacked out.