My story :Teen Mom

8 months I'm not ready!

My due date was September  15th , so I wouldn't  be  back  in  school in the  fall for  grade 12.  A lot of  crying  and  hugging  and  kissing ,twitching  feeling in verious places such as in my  lips my eyes ,my hands and my ribs and spine. Now August  1st . Getting  more worried about  my  delivery .  Really  don't  feel  like I'm ready to  be  a  mom .  But 8 months ago  I should  have  kept  my  legs  closed . It's my fault .  My belly  has grown . Terrible  angels  I know right ? 

At 9:00 pm   on August  3rd I took this picture .  I  was  now 150lbs from  95 lbs .  My hands, feet and face were feeling very swelled.

At midnight  I woke up  in so much  pain  and  had a hard time  breathing and  Josh woke up beside  me. “  Alright  babe?" "  I'm in sooo  much  pain  " I said pausing  for  breaths . “  Think it's contractions  ".  My entire  spine  from  the  neck to  my  tailbone  was in so much  pain  and  especially  mid to  lower back and my hips there was so much  pressure . My ribs  felt like they were cracking. My stomach  felt  like  it was being stretched inside out. It also  felt  a bit like gas pains and I  felt  like throwing  up . Josh rubbed  my  back. “  Something doesn't feel  right" . “  I'll wake your parents  ". “  Okay  but  hurry".  Something  in my  heart  didn't  feel  right.  Something  was wrong .  REALLY  WRONG.  I FELT SOAKED! I   EXAMINED  THE  FLUID .  MY WATER  BROKE ! "  FUCK  MY  WATER BROKE !" I SCREAMED .  “  HUUUUHHHAAAAAAAAAA , FUCK !  AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH !" I WAS IN TOO MUCH  PAIN  TO EVEN DESCRIBE. MY MOM AND  JOSH RUSHED INTO MY ROOM. MOM GRABBED THE  DIAPER  BAG  AND  GRABBED  ME MY OUTFIT  TO CHANGE  INTO . MOM HELPED  DRESS ME  ,  JOSH RAN DOWNSTAIRS  WITH  THE  DIAPER  BAG  AND  MY MOMS  CAR  KEYS .  MOM  KEPT REMINDING  ME  NOT TO  PUSH . THE LAST 8 MONTHS  PLAYED  IN MY  MIND  LIKE A MOVIE  FLASH BACK .   JOSH CAME RUSHING  TO  MY  SIDE .  "IM TAKING  YOU TO  THE SUV . "   HE CARRIED  ME  TO THE  PARKING  LOT  BRIDAL  STYLE .  I WAS BUCKLED IN THE  BACK  SEAT  OF  THE  SUV . I WAS BESIDE  THE  CARSEAT .  I REALLY  WASNT  READY TO  GIVE BIRTH  YET.  A lot of screaming  and  crying  I felt  so sick  to  my  stomach . A tromendous  wave  of  heat rushed over  me .  I  was  now sweating buckets ,I felt dizzy ,  I felt like I was  going  to  piss myself,  throw  up  and shit at the same time .  My back felt like it would  snap in half  and  my ribs  felt like they were cracking .  From the  day we met till now  flashed  through  my  mind . I was  praying  to  God  that I  live ,even  if  I  don't  get to  live  then  let my  baby live. I  was struggling  to  breath. I felt  like  somebody  was  trying to  pull my  pelvis  apart my  vagina  was cramping incredibly  bad. I felt like I  had  gastral  pains in my  lower abdomen .  I  was  getting  pain in my  stomach  that was worse than  I'd  felt in a  while and it would let off for  about 3 minutes  and come back  even stronger  than  before .  I'd experienced  periods  something  like this but this was actually  about 10x  worse. "  Mom I think the  baby's  coming now!"  Joshykinnsies  had been  trying to  focus  on  the  road  with the  most  uncertain  look on his face. Mom had  me time  my  contractions .  Down to  about  2 seconds .  I  felt so scared and uncertain .  I really  didn't  feel  ready! I've thought it  a thousand  times .  I  really  did believe  it .  Josh pulled  over  and got out on my side and unbuckled  my  seat  belt  and  I layed down I was incredibly  uncomfortable  and in a  lot of pain. My mom holding my hand.  Joshy got a  blanket out of  the  diaper  bag  and got ready to  catch our daughter  and  he talked me  through  it. "  Your crowning honey! " mom exclaimed .  “  A few pushes dear" joshy said. My heart beats  were so irregular ,  too many  to  count  in a second  and I was getting  incredibly  tired .  Everything went black .  Now  this I only remembered  from  what I've  been  told about  my  delivery : My mom and  Joshy thought they'd lose me. My heart rate  was trying  to  drop and my breathing  was all over the  place  and it  seemed  like in my  sleep  I couldn't  get  enough  air in my lungs .  It took a bit  but eventually  one of the  two loves of  my  life  was finally  here. My adorable  baby girl .  Mom had my daughter  wrapped  up  in  the  blanket  and held her on the way to  the  hospital  and we arrived  and went to  the  standard  procedure .