Dead Butterflies

five

Vic's dream:

*trigger warning*
Contains sensitive topics of suicide and death

Have you ever had just every painful moment clash all together?

You wouldn't believe me if I said I had that happen? Would you?

I kept it together, and without anyone noticing, so no one would believe this as they watch me slowly lose my mind as every memory of my life, every fear and thoughts that have eaten up the last of my soul, clashed together in one dream.

It was like I was in hell

There I was, alone in a dark room, I sat on the ground with my knees up against my chest. Then I heard a familiar voice call my name, shouting; "Vic!"

The familiar sound of his voice instead brought fear to my heart as I anticipated him approach me. But I didn't know why I was here, I just knew I had to stop him from getting any closer.

It was my older brother, Mike

"No! Mike!! Don't do this! You have to let me go-" I screamed and shouted hoping he'd hear me but he just got closer until he stood at the edge of the sidewalk. That's when I realized I was stuck at a crossroads.

I remembered this was supposed to be my ending and that I lost my mind in my own self hatred. I couldn't stand it anymore, I was stubborn and left home.

But didn't don't remember why, all I knew was, I was intoxicated with alcohol and overdosing on meds. I left a letter in the same room I shared with Mike and somehow I ended up here.

At the end of my world

But Mike stood there begging me to change my mind and before I could change my mind, there he was running towards me.

I heard the sound of a big truck storming towards me, it kept honking and begging for me to change my mind, for me to get up. Instead of getting up, I just sat there.

Why can't I move? And why won't mike listen? It's like I knew what was gonna happen but I was stuck in the same place and time.

Mike ran towards me screaming for me to get up, and right when I was finally about to be free from this body, that's when Mike grabbed me and pushed out of the way.

Boom

"NOOOO! NO! NO! NO! NO!! I CAN'T TAKE THIS BRING HIM BACK! YOU CAN'T DO THIS! YOU CAN'T TAKE HIM FROM ME! YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO TAKE MY SOUL NOT HIS! FUCK! NO! PLEASE TAKE ME BACK! I NEED TO SAVE HIM!" I screamed and shouted but it was worthless. It's all my fault he's gone.

In a second the flashing lights of the truck disappeared, and so did Mike. I survived but through my selfishness, just like that I lost all I ever had.

All I could think and hear was my voice screaming;
"It was supposed to be me."

I looked down to see myself it slowly I started to sink into the ground. I started screaming for help but before I knew it, I was falling into what seemed to be an ocean.

I looked around, then started trying to swim my way back but it's like I couldn't fight it. Realizing, this was it, I thought I was okay with dying, but I heard the sirens and the muffled cries of my mom, screaming at god, "Bring him back or take me with him!"