Never Forgotten Moments

Break me to what Breaks Yours

Everything is the same old thing,
Waiting for this so-long feelings to no longer sting.
Though pain and tears, these only bring
Still, this unnamed feeling loudly resounding.

Never from that someone, I had a single glance
No matter how many times in prayer I clasp my hands.
I kept telling this fragile heart to finally advance,
But it only respond the same thought, "maybe soon you'll have a chance."

I prayed, I fasted, I made myself so busy
But whenever I'm not, it's still him that I see.
I thought myself becoming more crazy
Maybe I am, but that's the reality.

So for years after years,
I let my dear heart feel what it wants to feel.
From every sweet giggles to bitter tears,
I finally come up to make this deal.

I prayed to God, "break me to what breaks Yours,"
And there He met me to the core.

God knew that for so long, my heart is hurting
That this pain is so deep and more than real.
Because this was and is also what He feels,
Before this selfish desires had developed, from the very beginning.

It breaks Him to see me hoping.
It breaks Him to see me crying.
It breaks Him to see me longing.
For someone that never to me will even be looking.

It breaks Him to see me desiring for someone else's attention,
Making Him feel not enough even though He already died for my salvation.
While in a blank space, questioning my own worth
God is also asking me, "I am not enough to you, my beloved?"

It breaks Him to see my daily breaking,
So the moment I asked Him that pleading
He gave me wise understanding.
"Beloved, you're too broken for so long," He kept on telling.

Then I remember, before I had this earthly feelings,
I first had my First Love, the King of kings.
Whom to me is always so caring,
And pouring out His love unending.

I don't regret this brokenness,
For this is what I prayed for to the Highness.
This is just for now,
My faith is laid in Him that soon this will heal somehow.

More than the pain I feel inside,
He is more broken whenever to Him I don't abide.
This brokenness is too beautiful,
For through this, I know that I am again becoming so close to my loving Savior.

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To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
-Ecclesiastes 3:1

To God be the Glory!