"Hogwarts," Draco mused as he made his way to his seat, "What a pathetic excuse for a school. I think I'd pitch myself off the Astronomy Tower before I had to continue for another two years."
Blaise and I drew our attention to a whining Draco.
"What's that supposed to mean," I questioned?
Covertly, I agreed, but I would not admit to such things out loud. Bold of Draco, yet again he was always so bloody impudent.
"Let's just say I don't think you'll see me wasting my time in Charms class, next year."
Blaise snorted at this.
"Amused, Blaise," Draco glared, "We'll see who's laughing in the end."
I averted my eyes and focused my attention to the scenery just outside the window. The train made the landscape form into a mesh of a variety of colors. Normally, the colors are represented by autumn colors. Chartreuse, mint, and olive. Sometimes a little speck of sorbet pink. But today, the world had a slate of grey. The color of compromise and control. I find the color rather calming, but eerie. Grey is the mediator between dark and light. The one thing from keeping dark devour the light. The thing that keeps us all afloat. A lot of trust we put into one simple thing. But there is something about waking up to a sky contained of grey. You become taken over, penetrated, with the roar of satisfaction that the heavens let go of. Releasing all those emotions, eager to let go of their tears, that hit the ground hungrily. Then the sky is born new, as that big, bright ball of fire is released into the sky; a bitter sweet reminder.
I let myself wander off into my own subconscious thoughts. Anything was better than listening to those two bicker.
Slowly, I turned my attention back towards Draco. I found him observing me. Immediately my cheeks flushed up, turning my already rosy cheeks to a brighter shade of red. I cursed myself silently. When he noticed me staring back he turned his gaze towards the window. I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion. There was no smart remark, no smirk. Just simply, nothing. It almost worried me. I continued to study him. Something was off, it was like he had lost the sustained sparkle in his eyes. In the depths of Draco Malfoy's icy eyes, he always had a kindled fire near his iris. His life force. It made his eyes seem kinder. His smile seem... brighter? And without it, every expression just seemed dark, cold.
"Staring isn't going to make me take my clothes off faster, Parkinson."
I scoffed, realizing I spoke too soon, "You wish."
This caught his attention. He slowly turned his head, a smirk plastered on his face. He saw this as a challenge, "Blaise, I'm sure that girlfriend of yours is looking for you." Draco still has his eyes glued to my face as he spoke.
Blaise took that as his signal and began to stand. I grabbed his arm pulling him back down,
"I'm sure Luna can wait," I spoke harshly not wanting Blaise to leave me alone with Draco.
Draco clenched his jaw. Knowing I was going to pay for that later , I nervously fidgeted with my hands. It seemed like hours before the train made its stop. Stepping out of the train, The grey palette that once filled the sky, was now devoured with darkness. Draco didn't get off the train with Blaise and I. He told us there was something he had to take care of. Whatever that means.
Blaise offered me to join him in the Grand Hall, but instead I made up an excuse to retreat to my dormitory early. There was no point in watching the Sorting Ceremony anymore. The excitement had disappeared after Year Three. As I made my way over to my bed, I couldn't help but think of what Draco could possibly be up to. I knew I shouldn't care. The last time Draco and I had spoke before this year, ended in chaos. We fought all night and did not say a thing to each other the next morning as we climbed onto the train. We stayed silent the whole ride and as he got off the train to face his parents, I fought the urge to go after him. Tell him I am sorry, hug him one last time, tell him everything will be okay; that I would write him. But I cowered down and stayed glued to my seat. Looking out the window with tears forming at the small of my eyes. As he looked up at the window at me, I turned. I refused to let him see me cry. That was the last time I saw Draco before he became a Death Eater, property of Voldemort.
I grabbed a bottle of alcohol out from my secret stash that I had built for myself in year four, and flopped myself onto my bed. Memories are the worst form of torture, but yet I allow myself to drown in them. Even if I did torture myself by re-living my memories on repeat, my memories were the only place I felt safe. I used my memories as a form of escapism. I find myself understanding why Hermione always has a book in her hand. Or why Draco always has a bottle of whiskey. Why Blaise finds the little rocks Luna gives to him, so interesting. Why Neville is so devoted to bloody plants. It is their form of escapism. I pressed my lips to the opening of the bottle and let the warm liquid enter my mouth. The liquid running down my throat felt like hell. But already, the worries of today began to fade. There was no thinking involved. No Draco, no Dark Lord, and no stupid memories to resolve.
I heard the door to the common room slam shut and rolled my eyes. I slowly rose from my bed and made my way down to the common room. I wasn't going to let this oaf ruin my night, I was already in the process of doing that myself.
"Would you quit slamming shit already, you stupid-"
"Oh shut up, Pansy."
I recognized his cold, harsh voice already, Draco.
I looked up at him and narrowed my eyes, "Well look who decided to show up."
He clenched his jaw, "I told you I had to take care of some-"
"Oh! Right! Look everyone! Draco is back from his secret mission!"
"Pansy, would you shut up!"
"Was your mission for Vold-"
Draco quickly strode over and placed his hand over my mouth, "Do you have a death wish?"
I looked up at him and his eyes burned through mine. Possibly, Possibly I had a death wish.That is what I wanted to say. But instead, my next words flew out without any thought process.
"What's it like being the Dark Lord's Bitch."
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CHAPTER ONE:
I know right now this story starts out slow, but I promise it will pick up!!
I have so much planned for this book, I am just terrible at writing the openings of books!!
Stick with me!! And don't forget to vote it means so much to me!!
Love,
Alyssa
