everything

chapter 1

"kayla we're going to be late!" i hear my mom yell. "okay i'm coming mom!" i shout back while trying to shove everything in my backpack. i rush down stairs, take a bite out of my apple and run out the door to the car.

"kayla i told you to wear something more formal" my mom states. "mom, it's my first day. i have no classes i'm just setting up my dorm." i explain wearing a leggings and a hoodie. she takes a long sigh and replies with "okay". 

"are you ready?" she asks nervously.

"yes" i reply back with no hesitation. i hear the car ignite and we drive off to my university.

hi. my name is kayla. i'm 18 years old and i'm going into my first year of university. i can't believe i'm going to my first year University.  i have idea what to expect. however, this year i'm gonna have no distractions and just try and focus on my studies. i hope. my mom always said to prioritize studies over anything. it's going to be the first time i live alone without my parents. well, parent. 

my parents had a very rocky and abusive relationship growing up. my dad would often come home late night, drunk and i would hear screaming and shouting all night. my mom put her heart and soul into that relationship and it got better for a while until my dad cheated on my mom when i was 12, they divorced and i haven't seen my dad since. from what i saw on facebook, he has a new family, a wife with two kids. he looks happy with his new family. the majority of my childhood was seeing my alcoholic dad passed out on the couch everyday. i wonder why he didn't put effort for me and mom but for his new family. i don't try to think about often because i end up just crying if i think about it too hard. the one time it hit me was when he didn't show up for my graduation. 

i always thought even though it's been a couple of years that he would surprise me. but he never showed up. it ruined my whole graduation. 

i write to him from time to time like when it's father's day, his birthday or Christmas but he never replies. my mom took it really hard and it took her a long time to get over it and i still think she isn't over it. we never talk about it because it's a sensitive subject for my mom but i do sometimes wonder why he did such a heartless thing to his beloved wife and daughter.

as for my personal life, i've only ever had one boyfriend, hayes. we dated for a while last year but then ended things because we just had different life goals. he moved to another country to pursue his dream of being a director. and i'm here majoring in psychology. i really did like him but don't know if i ever loved him. we were really different. i think it was bound to end anyway. my mom doesn't even know about this, if she does, she'll literally kill me. ever since my parents got divorced my mom became more aware of who i was talking to and interacting with. it became controlling at times, she would go through all my text messages, camera roll and she would excuse me deleting things because she didn't find anything. i mean i don't really blame. she just has trust issues. all my life she told me no boys until i'm done with my university and find a job and then i can settle down. 

i never really had many friends growing up. i had a small group of friends but eventually, we all grew apart. i only have my best friend, ella. she's been there for me since i could remember. i owe it all to her. i wouldn't be where i am today without her. when me and hayes would fight, talking about my dad, worrying about the future. she would always be a shoulder to cry on. we have been through thick and thin. she's also 18 but going to a different university which is only 45 minutes drive away which is not bad.

i stare outside the window seeing all the leaves from the tree falling onto the ground. i grab my phone from my lap and text ella.

me: hey i'm so nervous omg
me: i miss you

ella: omg me too
ella: i miss u more. bro don't be nervous you'll  more than fine!!!!

me: what if my roommates a drug addict or something

ella: okay literally shut up. you're being so dramatic.
ella: kayla my moms calling me i have to go but keep updated on ur roommate and dorm. ily

me: okay ily more

i take my airpods out and play music because it's a 2 hour ride. slowly i drift away into sleep.

"we're here!" i hear my moms voice tell through my airpods.

i get out of the car and look around and realization hits me that i'm gonna live here with no adult supervision and with a roommate who could or could not be a drug addict. okay kayla you're literally a young adult. calm down.

i open the trunk, grab my suit case and close it and find my mom beside me with tears in her eyes.

"this is the part i've been dreading most" she says quietly.

"i'm gonna miss you mom. i promise i'll visit" i say. not quite sure if i'll live up to the promise. 

"of course you are. are you sure you don't want me to help you set up the dorm with you?" she asks.

"no mom, i'll be fine. don't worry" i say giving her a hug. she hugs back and kisses my head.

"alright alright i have to go. i'll text you at night" i say pulling away and grabbing my suitcase.

"okay. i love you!!!" she says and kisses my cheek.

"i love you too" i reply back, walking into the entry of my university. this is where i'm going to be studying for the 3 years. crazy. 

okay. room 27 which is on the second floor i tell myself.

i start walking towards the elevator, on the way i accidentally drop my phone. i pick it up and as soon as i get back up i bump into someone hard almost like a wall.

"watch where you're fucking going" his raspy voice says.

i look up at him. he's tall but not that tall to the point where i have to break my neck to look at him. he has light brown eyes. messy wavy hair. strong features. he looked so intimidating.

"i-i'm sorry" i reply nervously.

he just looks at me for a second and walks past me. weird. i don't know who he is or why he's rude because i accidentally bumped into him. whatever. i get my phone, grab my suitcase and make my way up to the second floor.

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hii! this my first chapter. please leave comments on what you think of chapter!
ps: i'm NOT a writer at all

thank you for reading!