This is a poetry/journal book about my experience in the Psych Ward.
It's all true accounts with names changed for privacy. I wrote this while in the ward, except for the last day.
Please take care in reading. If topics of suicide, depression, rap...
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I woke up entirely convinced that the conversation I had yesterday was just a fluke. For some reason, I was convinced the doctors would change their mind and I would have to stay in the Psych Ward for a few more days. Maybe I was just preparing myself for disappointment. I don't know.
Annie tells me she's also leaving on this day. Trisha tells me she's leaving tomorrow. Brianna is the only one who will be remaining of the Psychos. My heart hurts for her, but I'm hoping whoever comes in to replace us will be able to keep her company until she's out. We've all exchanged numbers and plan to have a sleepover in a couple weeks, so even though we're sad, we're also happy.
The nurse speaks to me. They're gathering my things and I should be going home after lunch. I have to call my brother to pick me up, so I do. The nurse asks why I don't seem excited and I have to explain that I've never been able to express excitement for some reason. My emotion seems to stunt that feeling, as though protecting me from all disappointments.
However, I spend the rest of my time with the Psychos as much as possible, all the way until they call me to the double doors which lead to the beyond. We decide... fuck it. And Annie and Brianna both hug me goodbye despite the strict "no touching other inma- I mean patients" rule. They are honestly so adorable. Trisha had said goodbye to me earlier as well. I said my goodbyes to Billie and anyone else, and then I walked towards the exit with T.J., the nerdy nurse.
He leads me to a waiting room and lets me put on my coat, shoes, and my rings. Everything I had been stripped of before entering. Then we take the elevator downstairs and my brother is there to pick me up. We drive home and the entire thing is officially behind me.
Once I realize this, I cry. Of course. This was my day twelve.
