Confrontation

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It is apparent that Conrad is into me, and I am stupid because I secretly enjoy it. Don't forget, Arlo; no one can love you the way you love yourself. You don't need a man to tell you how pretty you are; even though you know you are average, you still like it. It is just desperation and the devil.

But he is too gorgeous. I would not say I would fall in love with him, but I feel attracted to him.

So I need to avoid him. I don't care how cliche it may sound, but I need to get good grades and get easily distracted.

A week has passed, and let's say I have been 90% successful at avoiding him at the campus. The other day he came and sat next to me, but after a few minutes, I got up and sat in another row. I know that wasn't nice. I have not responded to Conrad's messages. He has been texting Jesse, but I told her also to make some excuse. I need to push him away because once I accept him, there is no going back.

I should probably focus on Professor Hansley. He is just as gorgeous, I dare say even a little more, and there is no chance for us to date. So I am safe. The class just finished, and I have decided to go and talk to him so I don't have to face Conrad.

I am almost finished talking to him about extra credits when I see him looking behind me. 

"I see someone's waiting for you; your boyfriend, is it?"

That was way too straightforward for a professor. What has gotten into him? He is making me quite nervous. I turn around, and it is Conrad.

"No,  he is not. He is just a friend. I guess I'll work on that assignment then. Thank you so much, Professor Hansley."

"Don't worry about it, and it's just Erich. Alright, see you in class tomorrow."

I leave the room without saying anything to Conrad. I hear him coming after me. It is a bit dramatic, but I wouldn't know how to act normal around him in front of Professor Hansley or Erich.

"Arlo, wait!" I stop, waiting for him to reach me. I don't turn around, very like me.

"What have I done? You have not been responding to any of my texts, and now you are ignoring me. Did I do something wrong?" he says, panting heavily.

"No, you haven't done anything wrong. It's just me."

"You know I don't understand. Please tell me what's going  on."

I take a deep breath. This has to be it. I need to finish it here. "Can you answer a simple question for me?" He waits silently for me to ask my terrifying question. " Do you like me? As in, are you into me? Please answer this as honestly as you can, Conrad." I can see the embarrassment on his face. I know I was being very blunt. It looks like he thinks it is a trick question as if there is even a wrong answer to this question. He collects himself, and his expressions suddenly change as a realisation hits him.

"Of course, I like you. Is that why you have been trying to push me away because I care?"

" Yes. I mean no..." He doesn't let me finish.

"Oh, so you don't like me, that is the reason, right?"

"No, I like you. A lot. That is the reason. I don't want to fall for someone. I get attached too easily and start acting all strange and insecure. I don't deserve your love Conrad or anyone. Nothing is ever enough for me. Besides, I get distracted very easily. Most importantly, I would never want to hurt you. You would have noticed. I only have a single friend and don't talk to anyone else. I don't want to end up hurting you, and I don't want to end up getting hurt."


"So instead of telling me all this, you decide to stop talking to me altogether. That is what hurt. I thought we were friends, which is not how you treat your friends. That is not how you treat anyone. Besides all this, I understand whatever you told me. I respect it, but you should have talked to me instead of treating me like that."

"I am sorry." Come on, Arlo, say something; he is upset. It is all your fault; you are over-reacting, fool. But no words come out of our mouths, and we remain silent for the next few seconds until Conrad speaks.

" That is what being human is. You love, you get hurt, but you love again. You won't know how it feels unless you give yourself a chance to be loved, Arlo." He is walking away; I want to run after him and kiss him. Great, this is what my conscience is telling me to do?

I watch him walk away.

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