The Love Triangle

We talked

It's evening, and we are all swimming at the lake.  This is going to be another hurdle for me. Jesse, Ava and Cassandra have changed into their swimsuits, but I have not brought one with me because I don't wear one. I love my body, but I choose whether I want anyone to see it or not. I am just not comfortable wearing a swimsuit.  

And also I forgot to bring it.

Blake and Cassandra are already in the water, intensely making out. Ava, acting all desperate, pushes Conrad into the water, too, but he doesn't seem too pleased. She then somersaults on the dock, running and jumping into the water. That was quite impressive. Right after Jesse goes into the water, Miles approaches me. " You haven't changed into your swimsuit? Don't tell me you are not going to swim!" He sounds extra chirpy. I don't want to disappoint him. 

"I don't feel like it at all. I haven't even brought a swimsuit with me."

"Okay, but who cares about a swimsuit!" Miles pushes me into the lake, and while coming back to the surface, I can see my 'friends' half-naked bodies underwater. "Miles! I hate you for doing this.", I shout at the top of my voice. Miles cannot stop laughing. We stay in the water for another hour, having splash fights and chasing each other. I noticed Conrad with Ava, who did not look interested. Something is troubling him, and I can only pray it's not about me. 

We are returning to the house to change for dinner. The others are a little ahead of Conrad and me. I think this is my chance. I run up to Conrad. "Hey, do you have a second?"

He is taken aback by my sudden interest in talking to him. "Sure." He stops walking and tries to give me all his attention. I don't know what I should say, and on top of that, he looks breathtakingly handsome. Moreover, he doesn't have his shirt on. Yes, I had to mention that.

"I am sorry." Arlo, you idiot. Use more words the next time. This is not how it will work.

"Sorry for what exactly?"

"For hurting you. I never meant to, and I know I am an idiot for pushing you away without any explanation when you have been nothing but good to me." He pauses for a brief moment as if unsure of what to say.

"What do you want me to do then? " Why is he being so sassy suddenly? I do not know how to answer this, and I wouldn't say I like where this is going. I can't determine if he is angry or trying to mend our relationship.

"I want us to be friends again after you forgive my dumbfuck self for treating you like shit." He doesn't seem so moved by my words." Arlo, do you think we can be just friends after all of this? God, I wish you hadn't come." He does not want to continue this conversation, and his words hurt me, but it is okay because I was the one who hurt him first. " Just let it go, Okay." He starts walking away, and he does turn his head around to look at me, but I don't understand the expression on his face. Why am I so naive? So, this did not work out. I don't want to think I have made it worse. I tell Jesse about my conversation with Conrad after dinner. She tells me to give it some time and that Conrad likes me. He will come around.

What if he doesn't? I don't know what I want yet. I cannot be with him even though I want to be. I am scared of it all. Plus, there is Ava.