chapter 36

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Warning:Sexual assault

I put off my phone and decided to drive to Austin's house since that's where Aidan always is.

It took a while for me to for me to get to Austin's house. When i finally got to his house i just sat in my car along the sidewalk and decided to call Aidan one more time because i really don't want to go into Austin's house. There was another party at his house, doesn't this guy have anything else better to do than party all the time? I took my phone and saw that it was already 7:25pm. I went to Aidan's contact and tried to call him again. Once again,he didn't pick up and i sent another voice message. "Aidan,i know you're here at Austin's house,please come out so we can go back home." I put my phone down and waited in the car. It was getting more darker at it was already 8:00pm. I got frustrated of waiting in the car and Aidan still hadn't called or texted me back.

I got out of my car and went into Austin's house. I walked around the massive house looking Aidan but he was nowhere to be found. I went into the backyard and saw Austin drinking with a group of people. Austin then saw me and started walking towards me. "Hey! You! What are you doing here?" Austin shouted from a distance away as he walked over to me with a big red cup in his hand. "You know you're not welcome in my house right? Not after the drama you caused the last time." Austin said as he came closer to me,smelling like wine. I just rolled my eye's at him. "Where on my face does it look like i give an absolute fuck?" I sassed at him and he got quite. "Where's Aidan?" I asked. Austin suddenly had a confused look on his face. "Wa-Aidan? What do you mean." I started to get irritated. "Come on! Don't try and hide Aidan from me! I know his here!" I raised my voice. People started watching me being all dramatic but it didn't bother me. Austin then started to chuckle. "Ohh i just realized, Aidan is here. He drank so much that i to take him to my room to get some rest." Austin chuckled before taking another sip of from his cup. "Take me to him." I said in a stern voice. "Boring!!" Austin shouted "You're at a party,have some fun. Aidan's not going anywhere." Austin said a poured some vodka in a cup and handed it to me. "Thanks but i think im just going to get Aidan and leave." I gave the cup back to him and begun to walk back inside but Austin came up me and grabbed me on my arm. "Don't fucking touch me." I commanded and got my arm loose. "See,just look at how uptight you are because of Aidan. You can't look after him all the time,you're his girlfriend not his babysitter." I hate to admit it,but he was right. My life is already in the deep end but im running after Aidan while instead i could of gone and fix my relationship with my mom and Josie. "A little fun won't hurt,just two or three drinks then you can go get Aidan and leave." Austin said and handed the cup back to me.

In one sip i swollowed all the vodka in the cup without pulling a sour looking face. "Woah!" Austin looked at me in amazement. "Hey! Get this girl another drink!" Austin shouted for some guy and he poured me a drink. I finally got the liquid that I've been craving for so long. The boy gave me cup but i shaked my head and took the whole bottle instead and started drinking straight from the bottle.

Before i knew it,i had about 2 whole bottles of alcohol in my system and i smoked a blunt by a few stoners. My body wasn't used to all the substances anymore since I've been sober for so long. I started loosing my balance as i walked and kept tripping over things. I managed to sit on a couch by where all the stoners where sitting. My eye's where going closed but i could still here the loud music and the sound of people dancing and laughing. I could still smell the weed and wine all around me. I then felt someone tap me on my shoulder. I struggled to open my eye's but i managed to see who it was. I saw that it was Austin that was tapping on me. "Aidan said you should come upstairs, he's going to take you home." I nodded and lifted up my arm so that Austin could help me up. He helped me up the stairs and i tried walking as careful as i can.

I went upstairs with Austin and he took me to the room that Aidan was supposed to be in. When we got into the room it was completely dark.I expected him to turn the light on but he shut the door. It was pitch black and I couldn't see anything. Then all hell broke loose. He threw me down on the bed and pinned my arms down. Then he started trying to rip my jeans off. I shouted "Get the fuck off me!" I pleaded "Let me go!" I told him to stop. He pulled down my pants and underwear together. One, two, three moves while my arms were pinned.

He entered me with one thrust. I was scared and completely naked. It was excruciating pain. Endless pain. Pain so intense I literally thought I would die on the bed. Then at one point during the endless hard fucking I started panicking because it was so dark. Absolutely no light. Like a coffin. I picked my right hand up off the bed as he was raping me, turned my head to the right, and looked at the spot where I put my hand. An inch or two away from my nose. And then I waved my hand in front of my face. And I couldn't see it. It reminded me of the dark hole in Juvie that i got thrown in.And for some reason it terrified me. I was being attacked and I couldn't see it. It made it harder to process what was going on and to anticipate what would happen next.

And then it was as if my body went numb and I couldn't feel the pain anymore. I felt this energy, this force, gathering in my body. It seemed to start at my knees, and grew in force and intensity as it moved up me. I'm still being brutally raped or ass raped. Who knows at this point? But it's like I don't even notice. All I'm aware of is this huge force that has gathered in my chest and opened my lungs. And then it just floats up, and...

Deep exhale.

My soul leaves my body and hovers in the corner of the room. And I watch myself being raped. Dispassionately. Like it's a movie. I can see in the dark. I can see what he's doing to me. And it was a comfort. To escape my body. And to be able to see it, so I could process it. It was as if...i was already dead.

After the two rapes were over he rolled off me and laid next to me. And then my soul just went back to my body. I can't explain it any other way. I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't just experienced it. But once my soul was back in my body I was no longer numb.

I started getting sober and was also completely frozen in that bed. Austin got up from the bed and i heard that he started dressing himself. "That was wonderful y/n." He said. I didn't give answer,i couldn't give answer,it was as if i was completely paralyzed. Then i heard someone opening the door. "What the fuck!" I heard Aidan's voice.

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