Don't go Changing - A Damosa Christmas in Mystic Falls

time to bs my way out

*

“but it would be nice if you answered to me” another voice breathed behind me and my eyes widened.

*

I watch out of my window as the snow fell in Mystic Falls. Of course, I wasn’t allowed out. Mr Salvatore decided it would be too dangerous for me to be outside in this weather while I had a cold. I laughed when Damon threw a snowball at Stefan which landed straight in Stefan’s face. Damon turned around, obviously hearing my laugh through the window and looked up at me. He gave me a huge cheeky grin, which I returned. I then started laughing harder when Stefan threw a snowball that landed on the back of Damon’s neck.

*

“yeah well I’m not a very nice person” I shrugged, turning around to face him.

“why Rosa, just tell me why” he almost begged. I could see the hurt in his eyes that I imagined the night that I left him and held my breath.

“because I realised I was making a mistake. Did you really think we could be together, please, do be serious Damon” I shrugged.

*Damon POV*

“because I realised I was making a mistake. Did you really think we could be together, please, do be serious Damon” Rosa shrugged. I held back a wince as it felt like someone was staking me in the heart. I stared at Stefan as I let her walk away from me. A couple of seconds passed before I legged it out of the bar, following her.

“Rosa, tell me honestly that I meant nothing to you and I will let you walk away” I breathed, searching her face for even a small crack. Her defence had changed in the last year, she was practically impossible to read.

“you were a good friend with benefits Damon, I’ll give you that one. But right here, right now, you mean nothing to me” she shrugged, not looking away from me. She didn’t even flinch. Everything was telling me she was being honest, everything but a small glint in her eyes.

*Rosa POV*

“... right now, you mean nothing to me” I shrugged, hoping to carry off a look that told him I wasn’t bothered about our conversation. I couldn’t look away from his eyes. His eyes were always the gateway to what he was thinking, to what he was believing. I saw he pretty much believed me, but I could also see a small shred of doubt that was caused by the small amount of hurt I failed to hide from my eyes.

“if you were to be staked in front of me, right here, right now, I might shred a single tear... but I wouldn’t stop living my life for more than five minutes” I added, hoping it would make my case stronger.

“so all those years, they mean nothing to you? Even all those times we had when we were human? none of it means anything to you? are you really saying you care that little about me that roughly century and a half can mean so little!” he choked. His guard was quickly falling and his tears were building up.

“sure they were fun, but could you really expect it to last forever?” I muttered. The small amount of doubt that he had before had completely gone now. Not only that but I had broken him, tears were rolling down his face. I should never have come back.

“so why the hell did you come back Rosangela! To insult me! to tell me how much you hate me!” he shouted, wiping his eyes with his hands.

“I don’t hate you” I frowned. Had I been that much of a good actress that I had convinced him that I hated him.

“you must hate me though, for you to do something this heartless... you know what, I have stood there and ripped out the hearts of men that have said bad things against you. But they were right. You are just a heartless whore. You don’t ever love. You use men then you break them... what makes it worse was that I was stupid enough to think I might be different. I was stupid to think that you were capable of loving someone. You’re worse than Katherine because I trusted you my whole life, I’ve never trusted anyone more than I have trusted you... if I didn’t still love you I would slowly push splinters into your heart until you gradually died. But I just can’t. You played your game brilliantly on me Rosangela. Not only did I trust and fall in love with you, but I can’t even bring myself to hurt you, even though you’ve caused me more pain than I have ever known” he ranted.

Hold it. Hold it. Hold it. I refused to close my eyes because if I did, my tears would fall. Damon never expressed himself, and now he was saying this.

“what about Andie” I mumbled, feeling like curling up into a ball and staking myself.

“she’s a good distraction, but...” he began. Before he could finished I launched myself at him. pressing my lips to him and holding him tightly. He didn’t fight me. he pulled me closer and kissed me harder than I thought possible.

“she isn’t you” he breathed when we pulled away.

“I didn’t mean anything I said... I ran away because I got scared... I love you, I always have... I just got so scared. Anyone that I have ever openly, truly loved has ended up dead and that gave me nightmares. If you were alive in the world then I could manage to function everyday... that's why I left. Because I love you too much, because I was scared, I still am” I sobbed, not looking away form him.

“I meant everything  I said, that’s how you made me feel Rosa... I’m not sure I can trust you again” Damon muttered, putting me down on the floor.

“can’t you understand I was scared” I pouted.

“yes, god my head is so messed up right now” he closed his eyes and hit his head hard with his hands.

He stood there for a minute, head in hands, obviously working things out.

“if I give you my heart again...” Damon began.

“I promise I won’t break it again” I breathed. He nodded slightly and then pulled me close to kiss me again.

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hmmmmmmm

so i don't know what to say about this chapter :/

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