Broken Pieces

chapter ten

Honestly, this is the worst feeling ever....I haven't been able to cry since my mom died, but the pain is there, I just haven't been able to let it out and it's really messing with my head. Two days ago when I fainted in the hospital, the doctor diagnosed me with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. It's just so hard coping with this when everyone around you is grieving.

Today is my mom's funeral. None of my relatives showed up, it's just Nadine, her mom, Devin, Valerie and well, me. Nadine was holding onto her mom for support while Devin was standing next to me, appearing tough, but from looking at him, you'd see he's broken. Devin normally doesn't cry, but, I know this is really hard for him because he was really close to my mom.

Even when my mom was being lowered down her grave, I didn't cry. I just watched her being lowered to the ground and covered with dirt. It was a very emotional sight, but I didn't feel anything and I hate this. I hate it so much.

After the funeral service, we all left the church. Valerie smiled sadly at me and gave me a tight hug before walking away.

"Grace....come here." Nadine's mom croaked out with her hands spread out for me to hug her, which I did without hesitation. I don't know who needed the hug more, me or she.

"If you ever need anything, don't hesitate to talk to me, okay?" She placed her hand on my right cheek.

I nodded, "I will." My voice came out raspy because, well, I haven't spoken in a long time.

She nodded and planted a kiss on my forehead.

Devin and Nadine both Walked over to me and pulled me in for a hug. We stood there for like a few seconds before I finally pulled away from them.

"I...I have to go." I muttered.

Nadine furrowed her brows, "to where?"

"Home." I just want to go home and lock myself in my room, locked away....from the world.

I walked away from them, but stopped in my tracks when I saw someone. Someone I didn't expect to be here. Someone who left on my twelfth birthday and never showed up again after that, even when my mom needed her. That someone is none other than, my aunt Denise.

She placed her hand over her mouth as her eyes welled up with tears. "Grace.... you've grown so big."

I glared at her, "what are you doing here?" I heard Nadine's and Devin's footsteps behind me. She walked towards me, her heels clicking with each step she took. She didn't even look like she came for a funeral, more like she was going for a photoshoot with her white high waisted jeans and black turtleneck top. The whiff of her expensive perfume hit my senses when she came closer to me.

I held up my hand and took a step back, "stay. Away. From. Me!"

She flinched at my tone of voice but she quickly recovered, "I can explain."

"Oh you have a lot of explaining to do aunty."

****

"Where were you when we needed you?! Mom was fighting for her life, I had to work three freaking jobs to pay her hospital bills, not that I get paid enough, but I still worked anyways because there was no one to support us! Where have you been all these years?!!" My chest was heaving and I can already feel a migraine forming.

Aunt Denise was sobbing her eyes out while Nadine was just staring at both of us with an unreadable expression.

After we left the church, Nadine's mom drove us back home and left, so it's just Nadine, aunt Denise and I that are in my house right now. And ever since we got back, I've been boiling with anger and hatred for my stupid aunt.

"I'll just....uh, go upstairs." Nadine said awkwardly before leaving.
When she was out of sight, aunt Denise looked up at me with pleading eyes.

"It's a very long story."

"Then cut it short!"

She sighed, "you mom never wanted me to help her."

"Who are you trying to fool? Is that the best lie you could come up with? You know....that's pathetic! Why would mom not want help from you? You are her sister for fuck sake!"

"Mind your language Grace."

"Oh puh-lease! Like I'm going to listen to you, now who the fuck do you think you are?! You are NOTHING to me!"

Okay, I've gone savage...I don't normally speak like this to any of my relatives, especially the aunt I used to be really close to as a kid.

Her mouth hung open open in surprise, "kiwi, what happened to you? You've never cursed at me before."

I cringed at the name, that was what she used to call me when I was six years old. It used to be a cute nickname at that time, but not anymore, in fact, I'm even disgusted.

"Don't call me that."

She got up from the couch and walked up to me.

"I can't tell you now, not when you aren't in your right state of mind. I'll suggest we talk tomorrow morning, it's pretty late."

"And what makes you think I'm not in my right state of mind?"

"Please, just listen to me, everything I'm going to tell you is going to...I don't want it to affect you, so I want you to cool off for now, I promise we'll talk tomorrow."

She dabbed her face with a tissue.

"Promise?"

She held my hand in hers, "promise."

I guess I should just, listen. Maybe I'll feel better tomorrow.

She kissed my temple before walking upstairs.

"And where do you think you are going?"
She stopped in her tracks when I spoke.

"I'm going to bed, do you want something?"

I scoffed, "I'll never want anything from you. Where do you think you are going to sleep?"

She fell quiet for a moment,

"So, where am I going to sleep?"

I pointed at the couch, "right here, I'll go get you a pillow and blanket."

"Okay." She mumbled and walked back downstairs.