gravity and turtle backs

the story

a/n: so this story also came up in wonderful comversation with my friend who gave me random words and asked me to make a story, so here it goes! 
//lowercase intended//

once upon a time there lived a couple in a penne pasta shaped house. this couple seemed a little peculiar but they truly were in the deepest of loves. ramesh the turtle laid his eyes on linda the red bottomed heel 10 years ago at a black market and the rest is history.

one fine day, ramesh and linda set off to participate in a car race organized by ramesh and linda's biggest enemies- chad the hare and karen the counterfeit red bottoms.

chad and ramesh were about to compete yet again because chad could not accept the fact that his lazy ass could have beaten ramesh very easily but always chose to stop in the middle and "rest".

*at the car race*

the two sat in their respective cars, ramesh, a maruti 800 and chad, a classic lamborghini.

a drag queen counted them off and off they went.

at this race, a royal guard was also present. he was a closeted bi man who had been dragged here by his drag queen friends when he laid his eyes on a poor villager and fell head over heels quite literally in front of him on the track road. before he could catch the hand of the villager, a lamborghini came rushing and threw him into the sky.

he flew high into the sky and landed on a cloud. however he wasn't alone, an old black man was standing in front of him. " 'sup?" he asked looking at him up and down.

"w-who the fuck are you?" the royal guard asked weirded out.

"im jod." he said shrugging his shoulders.

"you mean god?"

"i swear to myself- for like infinitillioth time, it's J O D."

"uh okay jod, why am i on this cloud?" asked the royal guard.

"well good or bad news depending on how you take it. i cannot let you stay on this cloud so ill be throwing you back and my wife gravity will do the rest of the work."

"wait so im gonna die, wait what?! wai-"

"sorry dude it was written in your fates that this is how you die and so you can't escape it, bye bro." said jod sending the royal guard to his wife before he could finish his sentence.

the guard flailed through the air before hitting the hard shell back of ramesh the turtle and as a result breaking his own back and head.

the funeral was heartfelt. the royal guard had ascended to heaven.

end.

hi again!
i hope you enjoyed this chaotic mess of a story.

sunayana