The Girl Who Wanted Everything

Go big or go home

The next morning the mood was sedate. I had had about half the sleep I needed, and the mums were all hung-over to varying degrees. Sam was the same as he had been the day before: jaw-droppingly gorgeous and entirely reserved. I eyed him surreptitiously over my cup of coffee.   

Only Jamie and Adam looked in good spirits, fooling around smugly while they blended up breakfast smoothies, flicking tea towels at each other and bantering about what an awesome day it was going to be.  

Can't imagine why they are so perky, I thought sarcastically and put on my dark glasses so they couldn't see me glaring at them.

"So, what is the young people's plan this morning?" asked Ronnie, stirring a large tomato juice with a celery stalk. Her glasses were even darker than mine.  

I shrugged.  

"Go to the beach, probably. Seems like a nice day.'' Jamie plopped down on the couch with her smoothie, arranging her long legs towards Sam.  

"What do you fancy while you are here?" she asked him, the manicured nail of her index finger pointing delicately towards her throat. She couldn't help it; she was such a natural flirt. Her body language always used its outside voice. "Anything special you want to see or do?"   

Sam looked vaguely out towards the ocean and drew his dark brows together.

"I've always wanted to surf,'' he said. "Not much opportunity for that where we live, although I have done some snow-boarding, so maybe it's similar.''  

Jamie clapped her hands together, gold bracelets clanking at her wrists. 

"That's perfect! I love to surf. I can totally teach you! We have a second board.''

What just happened there? Aaaarghhh. How long did it take to learn to surf? Half an hour? Days?  Did Jamie just create a situation in which she and Sam would be hanging together out on the lonely waves for hours at a time? Hell no. And there were only two boards, so I wouldn't be able to insinuate myself even if I wanted to.  

But I didn't want to, because that would be horrible. I would be clumsy, a slow-swat, and they would be mutually aggravated by my presence. 

"I think the wind is going to be better this afternoon though,'' Jamie continued, ''so maybe just an ordinary beach morning for now? Adam needs a good dunking,'' she laughed. "Let's go get our things.''

While I was in my room, I took the opportunity to call my dad. I was already missing him after one day away. He was always such a sane presence and when things were particularly complicated, he was a rock.

"Hi Dini,'' he greeted me. "How is the trip?"

"It's meh,'' I replied, collapsing on my bed. 

 "Oh no, shame love. You had such high expectations of the holiday. Is everything ok? How are Giselle and Sam?"

"No. Giselle and Sam are fine. Lovely. The same. It's not them.''  

He paused.

"Is Ronnie ok? If it's too much you can always come back, you know. I could come and fetch you, or you could catch a bus. Jamie can come with you even – leave the ladies on their own for a bit.''

"No. No! That is not necessary." God forbid. Why would he think I would want Jamie hanging out at our house? She was the problem. "Like you said, I think I just had very high expectations.'' 

I thought back to two days ago when I was confident Sam would arrive and fall instantly in love with me. Okay, in retrospect, it was probably a little unrealistic, but there was still time. I just had to work a bit harder.

"And is your mum alright? I haven't spoken to her yet?" he continued.

I sighed. 

"Oh, you know mum. She is in her element surrounded by her buddies. I swear sometimes I think she likes them better than she likes me. She would definitely rather have a daughter like Jamie.'' I pulled a face to myself.

"That's not true." He sounded genuinely surprised. "Obviously she cares about them, and she knows when she is needed. But they can be a bit much sometimes. You know? Your mom thinks you are awesome. Just think, she married me, right? Chose me... and you and I are two peas in a pod yeah?"

"Yeah dad.'' I smiled. See? He always knew just what to say. "Catch you later. The beach beckons.''

I eyed out my swimsuit options. Knowing I was going to want to impress, I had carefully shopped for suits before the trip. 

I had a decent figure, pretty good even, although my legs and arms were a bit on the skinny side. I never had the confidence to flaunt it though. I had always worn modest one-piece suits in sober colors. This time I had upped the ante and bought my first two-piece suit ever.  

Since I wasn't very comfortable with exposing a lot of skin or asking to be looked at, I had chosen what was probably the most conservative two-piece suit I could find. It looked more like a training outfit really: spandex-blend short shorts in black with a double white stripe down the sides, and a matching tank.  

Now I was here, it seemed rather tragic.  

Typical me, I thought. When the choice came to go big or go home, I pretty much went home every time. That's why girls like Jamie got all the guys and had all the fun. She had no problem going big. I slipped on the other costume, a deep green halter neck one-piece, grabbed my beach bag and headed for the sand.