Trying to live #Wattys2024

Chapter 14 Part II (Edited)

I was still mulling over that when I ran into someone, and my book fell down. "Oh, sorry. Didn't see you," I started and looked up to see my brother's bloodshot eyes. "I'm sorry."

I hadn't talked to him since the library incident. I hadn't even seen much of Scott. The only time I saw him was when we made eye contact in the cafeteria, and after that, he disappeared. Now, he stared at me with red-rimmed eyes. Either he'd cried, or he did something else.

I picked up my book and started to go in the direction he came from when I heard him. "Are you?"

I looked at him sideways to see he was still staring at me, and I had only taken one or two steps. It felt as if there was a big rift between Scott and me. "Excuse me?"

"Are you really sorry? Or is that just another show of yours? Like everything you do is a show, an act you pull off? The good girl, the perfect girlfriend, the perfect daughter, the best friend one could have, the best student, the kind girl—all of that wasn't you."

Scott had a point—all of that wasn't me. I remembered my conversation with Cam about how I wasn't that girl. That girl was gone, but she was never real. I was pretending, but Scott didn't know how I felt.

Sometimes, I felt that the pretending game was the only escape I had. I played around. I put on a show, but the feelings I had for Henry and Priya were real. But most of the time, I pushed them away. For whom? For what? Simple—to protect myself.

But my brother's next words angered me. "You were none of that. All you were and still are is a selfish, cunning, one-dimensional, all-about-herself-thinking girl," Scott said angrily.

Anger radiated from both of us. I didn't know exactly why he was angry, but it was the second time he said cruel things to me. The first time was when Franny's pictures got leaked. My anger came from the fact that he still thought and judged me as if he knew who I was.

"How can you say that? Were you with me when I was like that? Weren't you the one who left me alone when your girlfriend's pictures got leaked? Weren't you the one who accused me of things, ignoring my truth?" I asked him but didn't let him speak. "You don't even know what I went through to be at the point I am right now!"

I didn't mean to say that, but the words slipped out as my rage intensified. Confusion showed up in his eyes. "What are you talking about?"

I scoffed. "Exactly. You don't know anything. You don't know what my life was like, so don't tell me something about myself. Don't judge me when you don't know me at all."

I stared at him coldly, wanting him to feel what I felt right now. Then, I started to walk away, but Scott grabbed me by my arm. "I'm not done with you."

Scott yanked me back and pushed me roughly in front of him. His push was too strong, and I fell down, the book from Cam slipping from my hands as I braced myself for the fall.

I turned to Scott and looked up at him in shock as I was still on the ground. "Are you out of your mind?" I asked incredulously.

He smiled at me cruelly and coldly, and I wondered who this person in front of me was. "This is where you belong. On the ground, beneath me. Girls like you, who just think about themselves and not their families. Girls who don't think of the consequences when their reputations turn to zero because of their choices and destroy their family's name. They don't get to hold their heads high."

"What the hell are you talking about? Are you even listening to yourself, Scott?" I seethed, my voice growing louder with each word.

I didn't care if the others heard me. I was mad. "Do you think you're superior to me because you're a guy? You mean girls who get called sluts, bitches, and more because rumors spread about them. Do you think they want that? That I wanted that? It's people who do that, who say who we're meant to be, who give us those names. Because in society's eyes, only girls do bad things."