WONDERLAND ✯ Louis Partridge

15 | A Little White Lie

Y/N

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CAN I TRUST YOU?

Can I trust you?

I'd been asked that question so many times, and my answer had always been yes. It had always been so simple: nod your head, ignore the fact that your whole stay here was born from a lie, and carry on with your life. I was never supposed to say no to that question, because Louis was always the one to ask it, and I couldn't betray his trust.

Unfortunately I already did before we officially met.

And now I'm here, standing in front of a girl, watching her approach me with innocent eyes and a smile.

"I'm Alice," she said, holding out her hand, "and you are?"

Someone you can't trust.

As everyone introduced themselves to the new girl hesitantly, I could feel Louis' stare burning into the back of my head like fire. He had let go of my hand, keeping his distance as he drank in all this new information like it was seeping straight through him—maybe more so poison than water.

I didn't have a chance to explain myself. They already knew, and even though Alice was oblivious to the fact that she ruined everything I had come across, I couldn't bring myself to hate her. How was it her fault? It was mine, and I couldn't even gather up an excuse as to why I lied about who I was.

So I sank into the silence, the only thing embracing me being my own pool of guilt. I did this to myself. I did this to everyone else. I did this to Louis, all under the hopes that it would never come to light.

My little, white lie wasn't as little as I thought it was.

"You have got to be kidding me," Louis spat out, kicking open the door to his cottage with burning anger, "you have got to be kidding me."

After everyone had finished scowling at me, I found myself chasing Louis back towards his house, trying to figure out what to say. I didn't know how to explain myself. I couldn't even look him in the eyes, even when he spun around, slamming his hands onto the counter of the kitchen table as his curls fell over the fire in his eyes.

He shook his head at me, clenching his jaw.

"Tell me," he said fervently, staring me down, "tell me Malfoy was lying, and tell me that you didn't lie to me."

I lingered by the doorway, my hands shaking. "Louis..."

"Don't," he hissed, cutting me off, "don't say my name. Just tell me if this is all some horrible misunderstanding, and you're still the person I believed you were."

I looked into his eyes for another second, before realizing I couldn't bear it. They were glistening, a sign that he was close to crying, and I didn't want to see the tears that I created—that he cried for me. It was like watching someone tear you apart piece, by piece, by piece.

And I couldn't lie to him.

"It's true," I mumbled, staring at the ground, "Malfoy's right, I'm not the girl from the prophecy."

Louis' heartbreak was almost audible. I could just hear it in my mind, and it sounded like shattering glass. He covered his eyes with the back of his hand, putting his weight onto the ledge of the counter as he took a deep breath. His voice was shaking as he thought things through.

"I trusted you," he choked out, "this entire time I trusted you."

I felt a sting in the back of my throat. "I'm sorry..."

"If you were sorry, you would have come clean about it the second we..." He began, before placing his hand back onto the counter. "The second I asked if I could trust you."

"You can trust me, Louis," I said, stepping closer to him, "it was just one mistake, and how can you hate me for that?"

"I don't hate you," he wavered, his voice cracking at the end, "I don't, but I can't trust you, and...why did you ever think that that was okay?"

"I thought it wasn't important at the time."

"You thought it wasn't important?"

"I thought it wouldn't matter," I explained, straining to find the words, "I thought it wouldn't matter, because it was just one, tiny lie."

"But it's not just one lie, [y/n]," he said, his voice raising, "you don't understand how dangerous this whole thing is, alright? Wonderland has been under the reign of the Queen for so long, and we've lost so many because of it, and your lie could have jeopardized our chance of freedom!"

It was getting heated now, and if I wasn't so terrified that he'd start to cry, I would have kept my distance. But now we were pacing around each other, fighting for the first time.

And I hated every second of it.

"I didn't mean to," I exclaimed, "my life had no meaning back home, and when I came here, I didn't want to leave!"

Louis scoffed. "So it was because of your own selfishness?"

"You're blowing it out of proportion."

"And you're making it seem less than what it actually is," he shot back, "and I hate myself for believing you, because now I can't tell if whatever we had was just as much a lie as everything else was."

"It was never a lie."

"Then it was nothing," he said through gritted teeth. He stopped pacing, letting out a strained exhale, before pointing back at the door behind me. He wasn't even looking at me now. "It's better if you leave."

Everything was falling apart.

Just getting picked away, and picked away, and picked away until it was nothing but a pile of dust on a floor made of sand. I put my heart on the line, knowing what was at stake, and yet I did it anyway. No one could ever know how foolish I felt at that moment. It was like the world was crumbling around me, and everyone only watched.

"Just, go," Louis said, his voice quieter now, "even if I was to forgive you, the others won't."

"And where will I go?" I asked.

Even though everything leading up to this moment was already terrible, nothing broke me more than this. Louis shook his head, turning to walk into his study, but there was something in his eyes. A glint of hesitation, which washed away as soon as I dared think on it. I could see his heart break in his eyes.

"Follow the lilies," he said, "you'll be safe from there."

And then he shut the door.

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so sorry for the late update, I have a contest coming out tomorrow, and I have a new Harry Potter book in the works ;)