Secret Lovers *not finishing*

Chapter 5, Confession

A week after the incident.

"How is this possible, Harry hasn't opened his eyes yet" I heard Niall ask. "Because that's what coma's are, and he may-never wake up." Liam says. I shoot up and walk to Liam, my eyes filled with anger. "Don't you ever, ever say that" I growl to him. "Whoa Louis calm down mate" I hear Zayn chime in. I turn my head and snap to him "Shut it quiffy boy." "Louis please calm down take a deep breath, please" Liam ask tears welling in his brown eyes. "How can I calm down! Huh? Tell me how? My best friend may never-I choke on the word- never wake up and it's all my fault" I shout. I collapse to the floor and curl up into a little ball, putting my head between my shaking knees. "I-sob-It's all-sob- my fault" I cry out, pure agony taking over my voice. "Hey now, shhh" Liam coo's. He lifts me up and pulls me into a tight embrace. I wrap my arms around his large frame and buried my head into the crook of his neck, soaking his T-shirt. I feel his hand run up and down my back, comforting me in a nice, gentle way that only Liam could do. "Louis it's not your fault" He whispers. "No, it is" I mumble into his shoulder. He pulls me tighter into his chest, wrapping me in a tight bear hug. Liam's hugs were so comforting and I felt hope for once. But they were nothing compared to Harry's strong, warm ones. His hugs felt so special to me, so reassuring and I loved how my small frame fit perfectly into his tall one. It was the absolute perfect hug.

I missed Harry's hug so much, his nice Bleu De Chanel cologne sneak into my nose, making my mouth water with delight or how is curls would tickle the tip of my nose. I hear someone clear there throat and I lift my head to see Niall glaring at us. "Louis" Niall says. I blush and immediately release from Liam's grip. "Sorry" I mutter, "No, you needed a nice hug" Liam says and smiles warmly. "Thanks guys it means a lot" I smile at them and give Niall and Zayn a quick squeeze, but of course Niall makes it last a little longer. "Were going to fetch something to eat, okay Lou?" Niall says. I laugh, but my laugh sounds hoarse and off pitch from my normal squeaky one. "Okay, I'll stay here." "Gemma and Anne just arrived, she'll be here in an hour or so depending on traffic" Liam states. "Why are they so late?" I wonder aloud. "Well they didn't get a call about it till a day later and their plane got delayed 3 times" Zayn says with a glum tone. "Oh" is all i say.

I wave bye to the boys and Niall comes and runs to me and gives me one last hug. "Love you Louis" he says in his sweet, Irish accent. I can't help but smile at the adorable blonde boy "Love you to Ni". He smiles and yells for Liam to wait and I see him jump onto his back, his joyful giggles filling the hallway. I roll my eyes and smirk and I take a seat in my chair. I start to hum "More Than This", then quietly start to sing. My eyes always glance to Harry to see if he will join me, but nothing escapes his lips. I sigh and take his hand and lightly squeeze it. "And then I see you on the street, in his arms I get weak, my body fails I'm on my knees praying" I sing to him. I kiss his hand and wrap my fingers around his like every other night and lean back into my chair. I turn to see the moonlight hitting his face, showing me all the gorgeous details of it. "Your so beautiful, you know that" I murmur and lean over to move the curls that covered his lightly closed eyelids. "Wait" I suddenly say. I just called him beautiful, why did I say that.

I've been thinking like this for weeks, why? I ask myself. "I'm not gay" I mutter and run my hand through my hair. My thoughts are interrupted by the sound of footsteps and a door opening. I quickly let his hand fall to the side of the bed but quickly pick it up and lay it on his chest, kissing it quickly.

"Harry" I hear a familiar British accent say. It was Anne and Gemma they arrived. I see them walk in and I notice their eyes red and puffy, dark circles beneath them and tear stains on their pink cheeks, they were a mess like me. "Oh my baby" Anne cry's out and runs to Harry's left side. "Hello Louis" Gemma says and fakes in a smile. "You don't have to smile around me, I know how you feel." She nods and walks over to me. "I can't believe I arrived this late, I'm so horrible" Anne sobs. I get up and run to her side and bring her into my arms. "No it happens, he's okay, it's okay, please don't cry Anne." I whisper to her. She sniffles and smiles and kisses my cheek. "How long have you been here Louis?" she asks and glances at Harry again. "Since the accident." I whisper and I feel the tears forming in my eyes, the memories starting to flood back. "Come here baby don't cry" now she was soothing me. Anne and Gemma hug me and ask me questions on what they've missed. We all stayed for a few hours, talking, sleeping and watching over Haz. *Knock-Knock*  I open my eyes and see the nurse standing there with a needle. "Sorry but visiting hours are over, you can come back tomorrow morning" she says to Gemma and Anne. They both sigh, but nod not wanting to argue, just like how Harry would.

"Come on Louis" Anne says and reaches for my hand. I look at it and sink into my chair, "I don't leave, I never leave" I say. "But" she begins to protest. "No" I shake my head. "Well then, we'll see you tomorrow, love you Louis" Gemma and Anne say in unison. "Love you guys to" I say and get up to hug them goodbye. As I'm hugging Gemma she whispers in my ear "Louis, you know Harry loves you" that's all she says and kisses my cheek. I stand there gaping at her "Wait what do you mean?" I yell but the door closes. I stand there in confusion and watch as the nurse also walks out. "What kind of love?" I ask myself. What am I going to do when he wakes? Continue on with our life's like before or start something new.

My mind begins to wonder, his smile, his curls, his dimple, his green eyes, his smell, the way he slowly speaks, how he over towers me, I loved every detail and every flaw (If he even had a flaw). He is so caring towards me when he sings to, very passionate and loving. What did Gemma mean when she said he loved me? "Harry please just wake" I whisper into his hear. I take his hand and put it to my cheek to the feel the warmth in them. His hands were always warm. I sigh, then take his and and kiss up to the finger tip and down to his wrist. I stop and look into his closed eyes. My mind then begins filling up with thoughts about him. I then breathe in "I know why i think this way now, actually I've always known but just been denying it" I barely say in a whisper. This curly hair boy I really did love him, every inch of him. And it was not a love in a friendly manner but like real true love. I always have and probably always will. I now came to my final thought knowing this would change everything. I was in love with Harold Edward Styles.