Already Gone | H.S

one

FIVE YEARS LATER.

"Thank you so much, have a lovely day Mrs Brown," I waved at the small old lady as she exited the café. I wiped down her table and took the dirty dishes in the back before going back to the counter to serve a new customer.

"Hi! What can I get you today?" I asked before I looked up and recognised the face looking at me. "Caroline? Oh my goodness, how are you? You look amazing!"

Caroline and I used to be inseparable. We used to be in the same friendship group but then one day, she disappeared. We heard nothing from her until she texted me one day and said she was in a rehabilitation centre to get better and I didn't need to worry. We were both so mentally unwell, at that point I was just glad she was seeking help because if she had kept going the way she did, she would've killed herself. It's been years since I've heard from her.

"Angel! Someone told me I'd find you here actually," she grinned. There was colour in her cheeks, and she was sporting a beautiful tan. Her natural blonde locks were back and no more of that box dye black hair. "When do you get off? We have loads of catching up to do."

"In about an hour, do you want to wait? I can make a very good latte," I offered.

"Sure," Caroline shrugged.

Over the years of working in different cafes in the city, I had perfected my barista skills. I made a latte for Caroline before going back to clear the tables and serve new customers. Most of the time, I worked between two or three jobs to support myself and usually in a café or as a care home assistant. I didn't mind, I loved being around old people – there was a sense of familiarity. Once three o'clock came around, I clocked out.

"So Caroline, what have you been doing for the last three years? Why haven't you reached out earlier?" I asked. We stepped out of the café and headed towards my one-bedroom flat just on the outskirts of Manchester.

"Well, I was in rehab for about a year and then when I got out, I was too scared to fall back into all those bad habits, so I moved away and went to live with my dad in Nottingham. I got a decent job and met a guy," she paused before turning to me and reached out her hand, showing the glistening diamond on her ring finger. "His name is Oscar."

"Oh my god!" I said, excitedly pulling her hand towards me and examining the gorgeous rock on her finger. "That is gorgeous. When is the wedding?"

"This summer!" Caroline grinned, "I actually came to find you to personally deliver an invitation. I went to your old house, but your godmother said you moved to the city so she said I would find you in the café." She reached into her bag and handed me a crisp, white envelope with my name in gold calligraphy.

"You have the invitations just like you said you would," I smiled, opening the fancy envelope to find an even more gorgeous invitation. I took a moment to reminisce about those nights we stayed up making Pinterest wedding boards.

"You remember?" she replied, surprise in her voice, turning towards me as we reached some traffic lights.

"Of course, I did. You were my best friend," I frowned. "It hurt so much when you just disappeared, you know. You could have told me before."

"Yeah, I know," she glanced down at her shoes, "I'm sorry. I just had to put as much distance between myself and anything to do with drugs at that point. I didn't mean to hurt you."

I had no one. Caroline was my only best friend at that point. The rest of the group didn't care about me like Caroline did. The boys just saw me as a piece of meat and the girls just wanted to talk about the boys. I didn't see them as my real friends. They weren't there for me every time Harry came on TV or the radio. Caroline knew how much that break up destroyed me, and the toll it took on me.

"Yeah, I get that," the beeping of the traffic lights filled the awkward silence that followed, and we crossed the road. I was relieved to see Caroline and to see that she was okay. She ignored all my attempts to reach out over Facebook and Instagram over the years, granted, she deleted her socials. Not that I was stalking her or anything. No one talks about how hard it is to lose a friend. It was a different type of soul-destroying heartbreak.

"Listen. I get if you're still upset or annoyed with me, but I really want to share my special day with you."

"I am hurt that it took you three years to reach out, but I get where you're coming from," I explained. "We're nearly at mine anyway, do you want to have dinner or something? We can catch up properly."

"I'd love that!" Caroline nodded.

We got to mine, and I made us another coffee. We reminisced about our past, those moments when we were sober and how much fun we used to have. She told me about how she has drastically improved her relationships with her family which I was so glad to hear and filled me in about her husband and showed me photos from their numerous holidays around the world. Turns out Oscar was in the music industry and was filthy rich. A small part of me was envious but I got accustomed to the fact that not everyone finds love a long time ago. Caroline listened as I updated her on my life in the past three years, which only involved work and group therapy. I saved until I had enough money to move out and into the city where I have always wanted to be. I told her about the incident that made me turn my life around and get clean and like true Caroline fashion, she cried for me.

"You know I have to ask," Caroline paused before looking at me, probably gauging my reaction. I just knew she was about to ask about Harry, "Have you spoken to Harry?" Told you.

"No," I replied shakily, pushing my hair out of my face. "Harry's in the past, you know that."

"Yeah. I just figured since his band are on a break, he would have been home to see Anne for a bit and you guys would have bumped into each other and, I don't know, made up or something," she explained as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"This isn't a Hollywood romance film," I looked away, "I haven't been back to Holmes Chapel much anyway. I absolutely do not want to see him, ever, Caroline."

"Lying to him is selfish. You're better now, you can fight for him back," she continued, "since when was the last time you even went on a date?"

"Leave it, Caroline. I helped him. He is so much better off without having to worry about me, it's none of your business what I do. You also left me, you don't get to tell me what to do now," I said angrily, moving away from her on the sofa.

"Look, I'm sorry," her voice softened, I knew she just wanted the best for me, and Harry was it. I am convinced he is the absolute best gift from the heavens but I just couldn't reach out, "It just breaks me seeing you still so torn up over him. It's been five years, Angel."

"It doesn't matter. I'm fine, I'm over him, I'm happy, can't you just accept that?" I pleaded. I was never going to be over Harry. I knew that but I didn't want anyone to see that.

Caroline nodded and changed the topic. We spent the rest of the evening talking about the most random shit, I don't even remember the last time I laughed this much. I am just thankful Harry was no longer the topic of conversation, even though he never left my mind. How do other people make getting over breakups seem so easy?

I ended up making a quick creamy chicken pasta and not long after, Caroline left to go back to her mother's place. I offered for her to crash at mine, but she wanted to spend more time with her family before she heads back to Nottingham this weekend, which I don't blame her.

Today warmed my heart. I cut off everyone when I got clean. I will admit, it is lonely even though I've met some new friends, but they don't feel like home. Hearing about how Caroline turned her life around, picking up new hobbies and at the point in her life where she is content, I couldn't help but feel slightly jealous. I didn't even have any dreams or goals for myself, I just feel so lost.

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A/N: A small glimpse into the daily life of Angel and introducing her best friend from way back, let me know what you guys think!