The stars were a warning

17th July

I can barely remember the night before. A mysterious blur. A puzzle fell into place once I stared at my phone. A message from them, fuck. Why am I smiling? This is stupid. She's interesting to me. She weren't any ordinary person from this ordinary town. They didn't try to fit in or be something she's not. They are just them. What's more beautiful than that?

She asked me to hangout, I haven't seen them in a while. I'm not one for small talk, or any kind of talk for that matter. I sit and observe. I'm scared of being judged. Insecure. But for them, I'll take my chance.

What do I wear? You see, there are many issues that come with meeting up with Jas; I need a pleasing outfit, I need to do my hair, I need to smell admirable, give a positive impression. Maybe I care too much.
Why do I need her approval?

I cuffed my pants and threw on my trusty leather jacket. I always wear the leather jacket, it brings me luck, I couldn't tell you why, just one of them things. I was admiring the sun piercing my skin through the glass window, the kind of warmth that makes you cosy, the kind of warmth that brings light to the memories you're about to make. The memories that will be unforgettable, no matter how hard you try.

Brown curly hair. Deep blue eyes that hold so much power and emotion. A grey sweater. A simple grey sweater. They changed since the last time I saw them. She has face piercings for instance, a septum piercing and one side of her nose pierced. It made them seem cool, kind of bad ass. It drew me in, I cant lie. Their smile injected euphoria into my veins, it let me breathe, like I knew everything was going to be okay.

And then everything came flooding back.

How good it felt to be in her presence, to see them smile and laugh, hear her voice. I could follow them to the beginning.

"I should be over all the butterflies, but I'm into you"- Paramore

We talked for hours sat under a bridge that didn't linger too far from home. I didn't notice what we talked about, I just listened to the sound of her voice and to their laugh. I got lost in the moment.

The bridge held its place in the middle of the line, some strangers walked past, dog walkers, chavs, but it all became irrelevant. The world was blank. Just me and Jas. No time had gone, at-least that's what i thought, I could've sat there all night, i wanted to. The walk home was dreaded, i formed an attachment to them. She was my drug. This isn't something I would ever tell them though, so let's keep this between us. Of course i thought about telling her about my feelings, but I have a large fear of rejection, so instead I'll just make fun of her, and hope she catches onto my pathetic attempts of flirting.

...

I think it worked. Confrontation can go many ways, especially when the situation is personal. You could fuck the whole thing up, or you could receive a beautiful outcome. We received a beautiful outcome. Mind and heart racing, adrenaline working at its hardest to pump around my body. My brain screams to kiss them.

The taste of relief and..watermelon?

I could breathe again.