TRIGGER WARNING!!! sexual assault discussed in this chapter.
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I stand in front of the brown brick building twisting my ring around my finger. Nerves eat me alive. I feel a bit ridiculous to be honest. In my mind therapy is for people with actual issues. Like PTSD from war or children with behavioral issues. Not for me. But my kids deserve to have a mom that tries. I'm tired of moping around and hating my life every second i'm not with them. Maybe talking to someone who doesn't know me, or anything about my life will help let off a little steam.
I sigh and push into the building to check in. I'm directed to the waiting area and take a seat.
I'm still frazzled from Wes coming over this morning. After we ate our waffles in silence his clothes were finally dry and he left. I tried to sleep for a couple of hours and when I finally got up my car was parked in mud driveway as if I had never left it. There wasn't a note this time. Just the keys in the mailbox. I don't know if I feel relieved or not. After five years of him not being in my life, he waltzes back in and is suddenly all I can think about.
I wonder what his life is like now. If he had any serious girlfriend. I'm sure he did. I mean he's a star baseball player, is incredibly good-looking, and a genuinely kind soul. Every time I think about all the other women he's touched I get a knife stabbed into my heart.
It's not fair of me. I went and slept with another man less than a month after he left. I had kids with someone else. I married someone else. I have no place to be jealous.
I'm sure his grandma will get discharged from the hospital before my next shift. Her prognosis is relatively good. Then I'll have no reason to keep on running into him. He can go about his life and I can go about mine. It will be like none of this ever happened.
"Natalie," a plump middle aged blonde woman calls out. She gives me a warm smile as follow her down the hallway and into a small but cozy room. Two armchairs sat across from a worn plush leather couch.
She took one of the chairs and I sat down on the couch. My mouth was dry. My palms were sweaty. I just want to bolt.
"My name is Katherine. It's nice to meet you." She was the kind of woman that was warm and inviting. "Therapy can be a tough step to take but I am glad you are here. Why don't you tell me a little bit about yourself to start?"
I swallowed. "Um, well, I am 24, I am a Registered Nurse, and I am divorced with two kids."
She nodded thoughtfully and took notes on a little notepad. "Sounds like you've got your hands full! Tell me a little more about your family. When did you get divorced?"
"About a year ago." My heart was pounding. I hated talking about this. I wanted nothing more than to curl up into a hall and disappear.
Seeing the look on my face, Katherine gave me a small smile and nodded. "Divorces are hard. Opening up about them can be even harder. I am here to be a listening ear and what is said in this room stays in this room."
She felt like the type of person you just wanted to open yourself up and spill your guts out. Which is good for her line of work I suppose.
I just give her a small nod and prepare myself for what's about to come.
"Can you tell me a little bit about why you got divorced? How was the relationship?"
An elephant marched into the room and plopped down on my chest. I don't think I've ever actually talked to someone about this.
"Well, uh, it wasn't good. We didn't work out. He, um-" I looked down at my hands. "He was an abusive drunk."
She nodded knowingly. "That's hard. You are very strong for coming out of it the way you did. Most women can't leave."
