I hated myself for how much I thought about Wes. Who is he to waltz back into my life and pretend everything is fine?
Everything is not fine. I am not the girl he knew.
Once he finds out who I am now, he's not going to even want to look at me.
What is his endgame anyway? Fixing my car? Buying me breakfast. What does he want?
Frustrated, I stab my fork into my salad and lean back on the hard plastic chair in the hospital break room.
A piece of my hair slipped out of my bun and tickled my forehead. I huffed out a breath at it, willing it back in.
The door to the break room swung open and Katie plopped down on the chair next to me propping her feet up on the chair to the other side.
"So you gonna spill the beans between you and Weston Fucking Bennet?" She demanded, massaging her calves.
I rolled my eyes. "There's nothing to tell. It was high school." I shrugged.
Out of everyone in my life, Katie knew the most of what I've been through. Definitely not everything, and I planned on keeping it that way.
"He's a fucking baseball star!" She protested. "There's no way it was 'nothing'. I need the dirty details."
Her sleek blonde hair was pulled in a clean pony tail. Her navy scrubs iron pressed, and fit her like a glove. She was stunning. I always felt like a nasty slob compared to her. I mean, I am, but she made it worse.
I was too short, my scrub bottoms always brushed the floor. My tops were too big, even being the smallest size. I know I had lost weight recently, and I never had extra weight to loose. After I had Delilah my body just wasn't the same. The thought of food made me sick. Half the time I felt like I didn't even deserve to eat. I would never admit that to anyone. That's a one way ticket to the psych ward. My skin was gaunt and pale. My hair a constant tangle of curls stuck atop my head in a bun.
Long story short, I was a shadow of a human and she was a star. I never cared. Not until I thought about Wes looking at me. Remembering who I used to be. I used to be pretty. Beautiful, I might even say. I wonder what he thinks when he looks at me now.
"We dated senior year." I pushed out, biting my lip and pushing my half eaten salad away from me. "A couple of months." Seven to be exact. "Then he got signed and didn't have time for a relationship anymore." Me. He didn't have time for me.
A bitter knife pierced my heart.
She raised an eyebrow. "And you never mentioned this? If it was me, I'd be bragging all over town. I mean, have you seen him?"
A pang of jealousy hit me. He was very attractive. Of course every woman in a five-mile-radius knew that. I had no right to be jealous.
"Yeah, yeah, I know. He's a god." I roll my eyes yet again.
"Word is, he's single. Maybe you should-"
I cut her off with a glare. "Absolutely not."
"Why not?" She pouted.
"Because men suck. I just have a lot going on with my kids, my ex, and Delilah's surgery."
"He could be a nice distraction." She said suggestively. "Have you even had sex since your divorce?"
I bit my tongue, resisting sticking it out at her. "With him it would not be just sex." I sighed. "He was my first. First everything. He was the one I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with."
