HIATUS

Chapter 7

●Clara's POV●

3 hours passed but still I couldn’t sleep.  No matter how much I tried not to worry about Harry I failed. I took some unnecessary cold medicine to fall back to sleep but that wasn’t quite helping. Even after all the things that happened, after all the pain, I realized that I still care for Harry. How could I deny that fact while I was up worrying about him. But he has hurt me too much. That type of hurt when I wanted to rest my head on his chest and dig my nails in his skin ripping him at the same time. The pain was too much to let   him in again.
 
At last I got out of my room. It felt too suffocating in there. I was walking in the dark hallways. Suddenly I felt strong arms around me. I was about to scream but my mouth got covered.

“Shhhh… it’s me.” I recognized the voice. It was Nicholas. For a minute he squeezed the life out me.

“Nick!  You scared the hell out of me” I shrieked.

"Sorry babe, I just couldn’t control myself” he said stifling his laugh.

“What are you doing here? It’s already early morning” I asked.

“The same reason you are here.”

“What?” I asked not getting what he meant.

“I know you couldn’t sleep. Nor could I.”

He got closer, entwining our hands. Now I understood.
He crashed his lips to mine. It was sweet and light but it didn’t ignite my insides, it didn’t make me pull at his hair. It wasn’t what I wanted.

He stopped and took a step back to look at me, feeling my apathy. I couldn’t meet his eyes because they were right. I wasn’t being honest with him.

“You know it’s been more than a month we’re dating. Every time I kiss you I don’t find you in there. I thought maybe because we were new. Thought it would change eventually. But it hasn’t.” he said staring at me for a while.

I couldn’t say anything. The truth was too harsh even for me.

“Why? Clara, why?” he asked again, his restless voice stinging me. “Don’t you like me?” He groaned

“No” I nearly shrieked coz he was wrong. How could I not like him. “Nick it’s not like that. I like you. I had the most amazing time with you.” I said holding his face with both my hands.

“Then what are you afraid of?” He asked leaning into my touch.

“I’m not afraid. Nick, I told you the first time we met. I told you I need time. I told you my heart is lost.”

“I know, baby. I just feel that you don’t like me.” He said leaning against the wall, his shoulder slumped.

 “Don’t you ever say that. How couldn’t I like this handsome devil.” I said pressing my forehead against his forehead. He smirked, at last. “And that smirk. I was waiting for this.”

Nicholas chuckled and hugged me tightly

“You are an amazing girl; you know? No one can be upset with you”

“You are my handsome devil. Now go to sleep.” I said into his arms.

He kissed my cheek and headed towards his room. I stood there, watching his retreating figure, moving far away from me. It hurt me too. Nick deserves better, happiness and love. Which I wasn’t giving him while he gave me everything.
I called Nicholas from rear. Nicholas looked back at me.  I walked towards him slowly with a big smile. I threw myself at him and he caught me in his arms.

“You wanna help me to get some sleep?” I asked hiding my face in his neck.
 He didn’t get what I meant.

“But I don’t have my violin with me.” He thought I meant to play the violin since we’ve doing this a lot.

“Why would I need the violin when I have the whole violinist in front of me.” I winked.

Nick's eyes sparkled, finally he realized. He at once picked me up on his shoulders.

“Nick, what are you doing? Stop, everyone would wake up.” I protested

But he didn’t care. we went upstairs in my room.
I was feeling guilty inside because I had been continuously ditching Nicholas what he doesn’t really deserve. He was there when I needed him. Through ups and downs. So I wanted to make this up to him. But not in that way. Me and Nicholas may not be like other boyfriends and girlfriends; we are more than that. The understanding, the contact between us is so intense that everyone can easily think we are in a relationship. But actually we are best friends. Even the two of us aren’t aware of that. It was just a matter of time for us to realize. And I realized that. I would give him my honest friendship at least.

“Nick, you gotta leave before morning. Or Lauren  would burn the whole state, who knows.” I said inside his hug. Nick laughed.

“Don’t worry. I’ll leave after you are asleep.” He said tightening his arms around me

I again felt guilty. Because Nick is still caring for me. He cares for me too much.

“Nick” I looked up at his eyes.

“Hmm?”  He eagerly met my eyes.

“I’m sorry. I know I’m being selfish. I know you have expectations and I couldn’t fulfil them. I’m such a selfish girl.”

“Honey, don’t say that. I understand you are not ready yet. You don’t have to be sorry for what you are not capable of. People can’t always have what they want. Sometimes we have to see which works for us and which not. That’s how people find what’s best for them. And we are also working on what is best for us.” He said lifting my chin up.

“Nick, what if this doesn’t work? Would you hate me then?” I said looking at him with guilt

“I’d never ever hate you. Even I’m thankful for the time we spend together. And……. we could be friends. Right? “He said caressing my cheeks.
He was too good for this world.

“You would be the best friend in the world. And I’m lucky to have you by my side.” I said hugging him tightly.

“I’m also lucky to wrap my arms around you.” He kissed my forehead.

My eyes itched with unshed tears. Why couldn’t I love Nick? I couldn’t find any better person and he loves me too. Why couldn’t I love him that way? Sometimes the universe is too harsh. I cuddled inside his arms.