To Learn to Let Go | ✔

Chapter 32

"Why does it smell like Chipotle in here?" I asked Trent as I walked into the kitchen.

"Okay, I'm a little offended at that," he scoffed as he turned to me.

"Oh, you ass, you know it smells better than Chipotle. But that's all I can compare it to."

"That's more like it!"

"What are you making?" I noticed tortillas on the counter, rice in a pot, and chicken sizzling in a frying pan. I could smell adobo, chili, and the cilantro Trent was chopping.

"Well, since you love Chipotle so much, I thought I would recreate it here. But just a little bit more authentic."

"That's actually the sweetest thing anyone's ever done for me," I said as I wrapped my arms around Trent's waist.

"Oh baby, it's just dinner," Trent cooed as he turned to face me, kissing my nose.

"No one has ever cooked me dinner before, well, besides my parents."

"Oh my god, is my bar that low? This is such a basic dinner!" I huffed defensively but I couldn't really think of any response. The bar really was that low to impress me.

"I've never exactly had someone do any sort of romantic gesture for me, so yes, your bar is in hell. Take advantage before I raise it!" I teased. Trent laughed and hugged me tighter, I nuzzled my head into his chest and breathed in his familiar scent.

"Oh don't worry, babe, I work very hard to try to impress you."

"Oh, I noticed. I don't think I've opened a car door on my own in months."

"I just want to make sure I show how much I care. I've never wanted to impress someone before, never wanted someone to like me back. So, I do all the stupid little things."

"Well, I love all of those stupid little things you do, and I appreciate them. And I appreciate this dinner, no matter how simple."

"Thank you, I love you." Trent tilted my chin up and lowered his head so our lips could meet. He kissed me softly, but with passion and I felt my knees go weak. Trent's touch was always so loving and tender, but also so strong and forceful. I felt so protected and cared for but there was also an air of danger.

"I love you too," I whisper against his lips.

"Okay, as much as I'd love to just keep kissing you, I need to finish dinner before it burns." I sighed and backed away from Trent, allowing him to turn back to the stove.

"I'll set the table," I said as I grabbed plates out of the cabinet. Trent finished up dinner and started bringing the food out to the table. "This all smells so good!"

"Thanks," Trent smiled. "It's my mom's recipe. We used to make burritos together all the time when I was a kid. They were one of my favorites. I really hope you like them."

"I'm sure I'll love it, babe." We sat down to eat, and Trent helped me put a burrito together. It was definitely not like a Chipotle burrito. After rolling up my chosen ingredients, Trent smothered the burrito in a creamy chipotle sauce. I took my first bite and my face lit up, pleasantly surprised at how delicious it was.

"You like it?"

"I love it! I may never set foot in a Chipotle again," I joked.

"Mission accomplished," Trent smirked.

"You know that this means you're going to have to make me burritos whenever I demand them now, right?"

"You say that like it's a bad thing? I get to hang out with you and cook for you? Sounds pretty great to me."

"You better be careful what you say, I will take full advantage of that."

"Feel free to!"

"You know," I said between bites, "this was really sweet of you. I really can't believe you did all of this for me."

"Like I said, this was such a simple dinner. But I had a feeling you would really like it."

"I love it."

We finished dinner and Trent insisted on also cleaning up. I went upstairs to make sure everything was prepped for later. I opened the Amazon box and put the condoms and lube in the drawer of my nightstand. I made sure my room was cleaned, throwing any stray articles of clothing into the hamper. I went into the bathroom and brushed my teeth and nervously prepped myself for the activities I was hoping were going to happen tonight. Maybe burritos for dinner were a bad idea?

"Where were you all this time?" Trent asked as I came back downstairs.

"Oh, just cleaning up upstairs a bit."

"Babe, are you okay? You've been acting weird all night." I froze.

"What?"

"You were weird about that package before, you were asking me about my first time before, you just spent an hour upstairs. What's going on?" I took a deep breath; it was now or never.

"Follow me and I'll show you." I grabbed Trent's hand and headed up the stairs. We made our way to the bedroom and once inside I closed the door, pushing Trent up against it. I closed the gap between us, pressing my body flush against his.

"Gray," Trent started but I shushed him and pressed my lips to his, gently at first but then more forceful. I bit his bottom lip, causing a moan to escape his lips. I used that opportunity to slip my tongue in his mouth. My hands went from his neck, down his chest, and to the waist of his jeans. I gently ran my fingers along his waistline, and I felt him shiver underneath me. I giggled to myself as my hands went under his shirt and slowly made their way up his torso and chest. I played with his nipples as Trent squirmed under me. "Fuck, Grayson," Trent groaned.

"Okay," I shrugged nonchalantly even though I was honestly fighting a panic attack.

"What?" He asked, eyes still glazed over from my teasing but still very confused.

"I'm ready, I want to make love to you." I said, suddenly so sure of myself.

"Are you sure?" I just grabbed Trent's shirt and pulled him over to my bed as a response. I pushed him onto his back and straddled him. I tried to lean down to reattach our lips, but Trent put a hand on my chest to stop me. "Gray, I'm serious. You know I want nothing more, but we don't have to do this if you're not ready."

"I'm being serious too, I love you, you're everything I thought I never deserved. I want to show you how much I love you."

"I love you too," he removed his hand from my chest, and I leaned down and kissed him. He sat us up and flipped us over so that he was on top of me. He pressed his hips into mine and grinded against me as he kissed me. 

I had a brief moment where I panicked, where I heard Adam's voice in my head and I nearly had to tell Trent to stop. Before I could say anything though, he sensed it, he reassured me that it was just him and I was okay. I instantly felt better, safe. 

"Thank you," Trent mumbled against my hair as we cuddled after.

"Are you thanking me for sex?" I laughed.

"No, I'm thanking you for trusting me."

"Thank you for being someone I can trust."

"Oh baby, of course. I love you so much."

"I love you too."

"Was that everything you imagined? Was I okay?" Trent asked.

"You were perfect." I smiled as I snuggled closer to Trent. I sighed contently as Trent kissed my head and whispered about how much he loved me and how beautiful I am and how lucky he was. I tried to argue with him, but I was too tired to argue. So, I just turned, kissed him, told him he was perfect, and fell asleep in Trent's strong arms with a smile on my face.