To Learn to Let Go | ✔

Chapter 31

"How are you feeling?" I asked as Trent drove us to school on Monday.

"A little better, kind of numb so I guess that's better, right?"

"Numb is never better, babe. What can I do to help?"

"Make my dad not suck?"

"That would take an act of God," I laughed. Trent cracked a smile too, but it didn't last very long before the corners of his lips turned down. He took a long drag of his cigarette, holding the smoke in his mouth before blowing it out the window slowly. It was like he was meditating with each breath he took; I saw his anxiety float away with the smoke.

"Can you distract me from thinking about it?"

"I think I know just the thing," I said in my flirtiest voice, which I have to admit was probably not very flirty as I am hopelessly awkward.

"Oh yeah?" Trent was intrigued, turning to look at me before turning his attention back to the road.

"You know my parents are out of town this week, right?"

"When do they leave?"

"They'll be gone by this afternoon."

"Well, that does get my mind off of some things." Trent winked at me and my cheeks flushed.

"I was thinking you might come stay over?"

"Just let me know when."

"I was thinking tonight, and then tomorrow, and Wednesday, and every day until my parents come back."

"I think that sounds perfect, and like just the distraction I need." Trent parked his truck in the student lot, and we made our way into school, hands intertwined. By now I was used to the stares and whispers. Most people were accepting, but some of the girls and a few of the guys that Trent and Brayden used to run with were not okay with it, at all. I felt bad, I felt like it was my fault that Trent lost half of his friends. He assured me he didn't want to be friends with people like that anyway, but I couldn't help but feel like I ruined his life. I was going to have a busy session with Dr. Meyer this weekend.

"I'll see you later?" I said as Trent and I were about to part ways. He nodded and leaned down to place a gentle kiss to my lips. "I love you," I whispered, so only he and I could hear.

"I love you too," he whispered just as quietly. My cheeks heated up as a smile crept on my face. I loved these quiet exchanges we had, it felt like there wasn't a thousand other kids in these hallways. Trent and I were the only ones.

Normally Trent was one for big gestures. He made a show of parading us around the halls most days, would kiss me passionately before he dropped me off at class. He swung our arms when we walked through the halls hand in hand. He would call me babe at a slightly higher volume than the rest of the sentence. I knew what he was doing, why he was doing it, so I didn't really mind. He wanted to make it clear what we were, who I was to him, that I was his. Not in a possessive way, but in a way that let everyone know not to mess with me. As many times as I passed Kyle in the halls, he only ever glared at me. Trent's former friends and fucks only snickered to themselves and gave me dirty looks as I passed. Everyone knew that if they messed with me Trent would break their faces. I appreciated the protection, I loved that he was so proud to show us off, but I loved these quiet exchanges that were just for the two of us, and no one else.

I smiled nervously at Trent as he parked his truck outside of my house that afternoon. He returned the smile, missing my nerves or choosing to ignore them, I wasn't sure. I thought I looked like a nervous wreck, but maybe I hid it well. When we got to the front door my face blanched when I saw the Amazon box by the door. I quicky picked up the package and shoved it in my backpack.

"What's that?" Trent asked with an eyebrow raised.

"N-nothing," I stuttered.

"Babe, are you okay?" Trent asked as we dropped our stuff in the doorway.

"I'm f-fine."

"You're stuttering, what's going on? What's in the box?"

"You'll find out later," I smirked. Trent raised an eyebrow at me again, but I didn't elaborate. He decided to let it go, walking over to me and kissing me gently while backing us into the front door. He was making it really hard to save what I had planned for later as he gently bit my bottom lip. I put my hand on his chest and lightly pushed him back.

"What's wrong?" Trent's brows furrowed.

"Nothing, let's just... save that for later," I said, winking at him as I walked toward the kitchen.

"Yes sir," Trent saluted, following close on my heels. I grabbed us some waters and a bag of Doritos from the cupboard before leading the way into the living room. Trent and I settled in on the couch, eating our snacks and watching tv.

"Hey Trent?" I asked during a commercial break.

"Yeah love?" Trent replied, kissing the top of my head.

"When was your first time?"

"I was 14, I was at a party playing spin the bottle."

"How did spin the bottle turn into sex?"

"My final spin of the night landed on Rebecca Watson, and that kiss turned into us making out on the living room floor which turned into her asking me in front of the entire party if I wanted to go someplace more private. I didn't really want to, I didn't like Rebecca at all, but I couldn't say no with everyone watching. It was fun, don't get me wrong, but it wasn't anything special."

"Wow, that's not the story I thought it was going to be. That's fucked up I'm sorry."

"Yeah, it definitely doesn't fit the narrative." We were silent for a few moments.

"So, you're not going to ask me?" I feigned offense.

"Well, I assumed that there wasn't anything other than... you know. I didn't want to bring that up."

"Sorry, that was a bad attempt making light of my trauma." Trent rolled his eyes, chuckling as he kissed my forehead.

"If you want to talk about it we can, you're allowed to bring it up whenever, you know that right?"

"I don't know what to say, I had my first time taken from me."

"The way I look at it, it will be both of our first time. What happened to you doesn't count, virginity is a social construct anyway."

"How would it be your first time?"

"It'll be my first time with someone that I actually care about, it'll be the first time sex means anything to me."

"No pressure, huh?" I could already feel my chest tighten.

"Oh Grayson, no matter what it'll be perfect. You're perfect."

"Have I told you I love you lately?"

"I love you too, babe." Trent gently tilted my chin up, leaning down slightly to press a soft kiss to my lips. "What do you want to do for dinner?"

"I assumed we would just do take out, why?"

"I want to cook for you," Trent said excitedly.

"Um, okay?"

"You seem shocked."

"I guess I never took you for someone who cooks."

"Well, when your dad is either at work or drunk every day of your life you need to learn to fend for yourself."

"You are full of surprises Trent Rodriguez," I grinned.

"Do you have any requests?"

"Well, I don't know what you're going to find in the kitchen, my parents didn't exactly stock up before leaving. So, good luck," I pat him on the shoulder as Trent made his way to the fridge. He opened it and frowned for a moment, taking in the lack of ingredients. I saw him smirk and then he was taking out what seemed to be half of the fridge.

"What are you going to make?" I asked.

"You'll see!"  

A/N: It's been too long since I updated, so here is a quick update for you all!