New Beginnings | Shawn Mendes

Chapter Eleven

The airport is rather packed, loads of flights boarding and people hurrying to catch their flight in the last second. You're standing with your suitcase away from the others, Shawn's presence attracted a large crowd and you don't feel like getting in the middle of things. You feel somewhat out of place, like you're not really supposed to be here. 

You hold into your suitcase in attempt to avoid the growing group of girls, circling the tall brown-haired guy in the dust green hoodie. Your eyes fall on Shawn and you watch him carefully from a distance. 

You can tell he's feeling slightly suffocating by the crowd and the lack of personal space. He's unable to stand still and his hands is rubbing the back of his neck every other second. You feel bad for him, really. 

You see him with Brian and he's this completely normal guy who jokes around and always lightens the mood. And then you see him here, stressing out and feeling somewhat uncomfortable with the attention. 

You kind of understand, though. 

It's not the same but the months after your father passed and you went back to school, you were fully aware that people were looking at you, talking about your loss and you didn't like being the centre of attention or the latest gossip either. 

"Hey you." Someone yells and you snap from your thoughts and turn to face the voice. Your smile widens when you see Brian rolling his suitcase towards you with the usual smug on his face. 

"Hey." You reply when he reaches you and give him a friendly hug. 

"I'm glad you came." He says with a smile and you nod in excitement. 

"Yeah, I guess you're going to be stuck with me." You say and it makes Brian laugh. 

You feel better knowing Brian is going as well, you'll have someone to lean on when Shawn or to be fair, your feelings for Shawn, gets under your skin. 

"Well, I'm getting used to it." Brian teases you and all you do is roll your eyes at his dumb joke.

"Well, isn't that the two lovebirds." You hear Tom say as both him and Shawn approach you. You instantly feel the heat in your cheeks and your stomach does a small flip. 

Brian joins the stupid joke and puts his arm around your shoulder while laughing. You shake your head, slightly uncomfortably as your eyes flicker to find Shawn's stare. 

You feel a yank in your chest realising his warm smile is gone as he puts his hands into the pockets in his sweats. You figure that maybe he feels left out or something. 

"It's an intern joke." Brian explains while he removes his arm from your body. 

"It's not really that funny." You insist and shrug your shoulders. "More dumb, really."

"It seems like you find it quite funny." Shawn mumbles back and heads towards the check-in. 

Your heart drops as he leaves and you cannot figure out why he suddenly seems slightly cold. But again, you figure that he feels left out. You haven't even been here that long and you're already keeping his best friend from him. You don't like the nausea that appears as a bundle of knots forms in your stomach. You don't want to get between Shawn and Brian, but maybe that's what Shawn feels?

*********

As you enter the plane, Brian raises his hand for you to sit next to him. You send him a smile and nod at his gesture. Tom is talking to Shawn, planning something you cannot seem to figure out. When you walk pass their seat, your eyes search for Shawn's but his eyes darts to the floor to avoid you. 

You don't understand the sudden change in his mood, even if he is feeling left out, why doesn't he just say so? 

You drop down next to Brian as the plane takes off. Your headphones are in, your eyes shut but your mind is occupied with Shawn. You feel insanely dumb for spending this much time thinking about someone who hardly thinks about you at all. You feel a tap on your shoulder and you remove the headphone from your ears. 

"What's up with you?" Brian asks and you let out a sigh. 

"Nothing." Brian raises his eyebrow at you and you know you're not getting out of this conversation that easily. "Does Shawn seem... mad to you?" Brian looks over to Shawn and back to you. 

"A bit distracted maybe, why?" 

"I don't know. He seemed fine this morning and now I feel like, I might have done something." You shrug as your tongue slides between your lips. Suddenly Brian stand from his seat and walks towards Shawn and Tom. 

"Hey Shawn, you mind switching seats for a bit? I need to talk to Tom about something." Your eyes shoot to find Brian's as a smug spread on his lips. 

You swear under your breath as Shawn gets up from the seat and walk towards you. You shut your eyes and force some air into your lungs in a desperate attempt to calm yourself down. 

Oh, Brian is dead. You're going to kill him. 

Shawn drops down in the seat next to you and your heart flickers when you smell his sweet but strong cologne. You sit in silence for a bit and you're almost able to taste the bitterness hanging in the air. 

"Okay..." You stutter and look sideways. "Have I done something?" 

"W-what?" Shawn stutters and looks at you. 

"You just seem... annoyed with me." You shrug as a coldness run down your spine and give you chills. 

"No," Shawn shakes his head slightly. "Sorry. I'm just a bit off right now." He tells you and for the first time, he sends you a smile. 

"Nervous?" You ask him, swallowing the lump in your throat. 

"Something like that." Shawn replies with a small laughter. You don't really know what to say and therefore, all you do is nod back at him. "You want to go out for dinner tonight?" Shawn asks you and you look at him again. Your mouth feels dry and your hands are suddenly unsteady. 

"I've been in New York a couple of times and there's this Italian place I think you'd love. Tom is always talking about how all you eat is pasta." Shawn laughs and you cannot help but laugh. 

"Sure." You say with a smile. "I never turn down Italian." 

"Cool." Shawn laughs as he put in his headphone and closes his eyes. You lean back in your seat, the butterflies appearing in your stomach and you feel your smile widen.