Reality

Chapter 9

It's close to midnight, and we're about to leave. "I know this is last minute, but can we go to Harcos territory so I can try and bring Jeremy with?" Thomas stared at me, and he kinda looked disgusted, "why would you want to bring him, he hasn't talked to you or even acknowledged you since the ceremony." How would he know this, I haven't told anyone about what's been going on with Jeremy. Thomas really does pay attention to me. "Please, it would mean a lot to me if we could; we haven't talked since my birthday," I'm desperate now. "You know what, fine. Even though I know that he could have found a way to talk to you because I did when you fell that day at school." Thomas has a point, but I can't think that way; I have to at least try. I didn't say anything, "fine then, if he doesn't come, don't say I didn't warn you.

It was quiet after Thomas and I's argument, but Lydia broke the silence. "Are we all set?" I look around to make sure we have everything. "Yes I think so," then look around one last time. This is it, this is the last time I will see New York. Josh made a checklist, "alright. Lydia, do you have the book of berries and plants, along with a pot?" Lydia looked in her bag, "check!" Josh looked at the list again, "Thomas, do you have the map and plates?" Thomas did not hesitate because he has been ready since yesterday. "Yes." He looked at the list again, "Harper, do you have the knives and blankets?" I double checked my bag, "yep!" Then I made sure Josh had everything, "wait Josh, do you have the waters and flashlights?" He looked at me like I was dumb, "of course, I've been ready since the beginning of the week." Before we leave Lydia asks, "Do we all have warm clothes, extra food, matches and a tent?" 

All of us had certain things to carry, but all of us had these in our bags. We all said in unison, "check!" We looked at each other and I took a deep breath, "then let's go."

We got out of Saffi territory easily, but we went on the subway so I could get Jeremy. Right now we are about five minutes away from Harcos territory; I'm not going to lie, I'm going to miss Jordan and Mason. They've been with me my whole life, and now I'm leaving them. For good.

I see Jeremy's house, I'm not going to knock on the front door because I don't want to wake his brothers. I went to his bedroom window and knocked quietly. His bedroom is on the first floor, and then I knocked again until he woke up. "Harper?" He looked exhausted, "yeah, can I come in?" 

He opened the window and let me in, "What are you doing here?" "I'm leaving. I don't belong here with all these people. A couple of friends are coming with me, and I was wondering if you wanted to join? We can be together again, and we won't get in trouble for it and-" Jeremy looked at me differently, more harsh than he has before. "Harper stop ok, I'm not coming with you. What we had was a mistake, and it should never have happened; I'm happy here, happier without you. These past months without you just made me feel free and myself." 

I couldn't believe what he was saying, I thought he actually liked me. I didn't say anything because I couldn't, so I just stood still. I felt like hitting something, or crying, but I couldn't do that either. "Are you even listening? I don't care about you anymore, and you need to move on."

 I felt like he just punched me and I'm trying to find air, "I understand," and started to leave. "I thought you said that no matter what society we were put in, you won't forget me. It seems you're doing just fine without me. Goodbye Jeremy Hilroy." I climb out of his window, "if you leave, they'll find you and kill you. You do know that right?" I couldn't look at him, "I know," and left his room. 

"If you go, I'll tell them; I'll tell the System and you'll definitely be dead by morn-" I didn't let him finish his sentence, "no you won't, and no one will find us. You can have this back, I don't need it anymore." I rip off my necklace that he gave me and through it to the ground, "I hope you have a good life here asshole." After I said that, I ran and couldn't hold back the tears. Everything I was doing was for him, I kept going in hope of me and him being together. I don't understand why he would say that to me; I should have known he doesn't care about me. Why would I think anyone would care about me. Like I said, I'm worthless.

I met back with Josh, Lydia and Thomas and couldn't help but cry quietly. "What happened?" Josh looked worried, "He's not coming, let's go before guards find us. And Thomas, don't you dare say 'I told you so' or I will do something and not regret it." I basically just threatened him, and he didn't look scared at all. What the hell, am I not scary anymore? God, I can't do anything right these days. "I wasn't going to." I couldn't handle anything else right now, to start off my boyfriend told me he doesn't care about me, I'm leaving my family, I can't figure out why everything is going wrong, and now I'm not intimidating. 

I might just explode if something else happens to me. I've been tough for too long and now I can't keep it together. I go sit in the corner of the subway, and I hear someone come over and hug me but I didn't look up, "it's going to be ok, you deserve so much better than him. We'll get through this together, this is what friends are for. Thomas has never said those things to me, and it felt like a little weight has been lifted off of my shoulders.

"It's time." Lydia told us we are the next stop coming up. "I have to tell you all something. Jeremy said that he will tell the System about us, and I'm so sorry. It's all my fault and-" Thomas cut me off again, "It's fine, we'll just have to be quicker than we thought. When we get off, everyone gets their flashlights out, and I have the map. We'll walk for tonight and sleep in the morning. Is that ok with everyone?" We all nodded. 

Thomas spoke again, "this is our stop, everyone keep their flashlights in their hands, but keep them off until we know it's safe. Stay together and be quiet, we don't want to get caught or else we'll be dead by morning." He takes a quick look at me and nods.