It's Always Been You

Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Kori’s POV

Seriously, tonight was just…. amazing? Jeremy and I spent a couple hours talking and then went our separate ways. I was so careful about what I said, even though I just wanted to leap into his arms and tell him everything. I’m not stupid though; he would definitely hate me and never speak to me again if he knew the truth. Now, it’s about one a.m. and I’m lying here in bed trying to sleep. No success though, like normal.

I don’t want to take another sleeping pill because I hate the after-effects of them in the morning. I always feel like I have a hangover because I don’t even sleep that long when I take them. Five hours has definitely been the longest that they have kept me in dreamland, usually waking up from a nightmare.

I wonder if Jeremy and his family had any sort of memorial for me when I “died”. Probably not. They weren’t actually my family and really had no reason to mourn me as such. Even so, it’s nice to think that they loved me and wanted to celebrate my life in some way, considering they were the closest thing to family that I had after my parents…. Nope, I can’t think of that. I’ve spent way too many years trying to become normal again and I don’t want to slip back into that depression.

Dragging myself out of bed and to the medicine cabinet in the bathroom, I am overwhelmed with a sense of dread. I know that I didn’t say anything that would give me away, however I know how smart and intuitive Jeremy actually is. I hope beyond hope that he doesn’t figure me out since we have to be close in proximity to each other on a daily basis.

Opening the pill bottle, I notice that I need to refill my prescription soon. I take one of the tiny blue pills out, pop it in my mouth, and fill my hand with water from the sink to swallow the pill easier. Leaving my bathroom, I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. Holy shit, I actually look somewhat happy. Probably from my day with Jeremy. God, what that boy can still do to me is utterly ridiculous.

Climbing into bed and pulling the comforter over me, I can feel the sleeping pills quickly taken effect on my conscious. I am scared, yet excited to get some sleep. Scared because I dread my nightmares, excited because the sooner I sleep, the sooner morning will come and I can see him again.

XXX

“Jeremy!” I yell his name and he turns around with a stunned look on his gorgeous face.

“Hey Elizabeth. What’s up?” He gives me his beautiful smile that has always made my heart melt.

“I… I have to tell… Shit!” He is looking at me like I have five heads after falling over my words and not quite knowing how I want to go about this. I need to tell him. He deserves the truth. First though, I have to find out how he felt about me. I know I’m probably wrong, but I need to see if he felt the way I did.

“You ok Elizabeth?”

“I… Have you ever been… Have… Damn it.” I take a deep breath, mentally kicking myself for my sudden need to be honest after all these years. This will surely blow up in my face. “Have you ever been in love?”

He has a thoughtful look on his face like he wants to say something, yet doesn’t know how to approach the subject. He just nods his head yes. All I can do is smile, hoping that it was me, the old me, that he was in love with, but knowing that this is not a possibility.

“Who was, or is, the lucky girl if you don’t mind my asking?” Should I really press this? Do I really even want to know? I know that I’ll be heartbroken if he doesn’t say “Kori”, however, I know that he won’t and I think I’m ready to find out.