Perfect Love

FOUR : I Fucked Up

Jeffrey held Jared's newborn son, Shepherd, in his arms as Hazel talked with Jared and Gen. Hazel couldn't help but melt as she watched the way he looked at the baby. Gen yawned before she said," A little birdy told us that you two were trying to make a little miracle yourself." Hazel nodded and sat down in the chair by the bed. Jared excused himself to go talk to Jeffrey. Hazel sighed and said," Were trying. I'm doing shots and medications to double my chances. Where I'm older its not going to be easy." Gen took ahold of her hand and gave her a small smile as Jeffrey walked over with little Shepherd. He handed the little baby down to his mother. Gen took the baby boy and looked to Hazel. She smiled and said,"No need to worry about it. Just let it happen. I've got a good feeling anyway." Jeffrey smiled and gently placed his hand on the back of head. He ran his fingers through her short hair and couldn't help but hope that Gen was right. He was older than he liked to be and hadn't had the time to have children because of his dating history and career. He bent down and kissed the top of her head. Hazel could help but smile as she felt the small kiss. Jared smiled and said," I don't mean to run y'all off but Gen needs her rest. Plus it about feeding time." Hazel nodded and stood. Jared came over and gave her a big hug. Hazel giggled as he picked her up slightly. Jared smiled as he whispered,"Thank you for making my friend happy. We love you for it." Hazel blinked away tears as he set her back on the floor. Hazel pulled away and nodded. Unable to speak knowing she'll start crying if she started talking. Jared knew what she meant and gave her a brotherly kiss on the cheek.

Hazel and Jeffrey laid in the bed. Both gasping for air and a thin layer of sweat on their bodies. Jeffrey pulled Hazel close and slowly began kissing up her neck, till he found her lips. She smiled into the kiss before he pulled away. He gently ran his finger pad along the apples of her cheeks. She looked up into his deep brown eyes as she said," I saw the way you looked at that baby. I promise I'm gonna try my hardest to give you that. I want to build my life with you and have this baby. Move in with me, Hazel, officially at least. I want you with me all the time. I want to wake up next to you, I want to kiss you good morning, every morning." Hazel smiled and pulled him into a long kiss. Jeffrey chuckled against her lips as he felt her slowly straddle him, not breaking the kiss. She placed her hands on his chest as she pulled away. She smiled and said," One one condition." He raised his eyebrows in expectation, waiting on her to finish. She smiled and said," We get hitched. So I guess I'm asking you to marry me Jeff. Will you marry me?" Jeffrey sat up slightly, he was completely caught off guard. Hazel immediately regret everything she said as she got off of him. He stood, trying to find his boxers as he said," Hazel, you know I can't do that. I'm willing for us to be partners and lovers, but marriage. You know I don't want that." Hazel covered herself in a sheet as he pulled on some jeans. Hazel blinked back tears as she said," To be honest Jeffrey, I never know what you want. Ever since I became the mistress or whatever I was. I never got any explanations or anything till you came back from that convention. I've loved you from the minute I met you and I always knew this wouldn't work." Jeffrey looked to her to find her practically wrapped in a ball, guarding herself. He stepped towards her and she stopped him with her hand. He gulped as she finally let the tears go. She fiddled with the sheets in her hand as she said,"I'm gonna fly home and think. Because I can't do this and keep going on this journey with a man who doesn't want the same things as me." Jeffrey just nodded as she stood and walked towards her luggage. Jeffrey couldn't help but watch her every move as she pulled out some fresh clothes and practically ran to the bathroom. He heard the door lock as he grabbed a nearby shirt. He ran from the hotel room like a bat out of Hell, he needed some space.

He slowly walked through a park, he couldn't remember the name of. Taking in the emptiness as the night seemed to be getting darker. He knew he'd been wondering around for several hours but he didn't care. He sighed as he looked to the moon. He frowned and said," Looks like I fucked up another relationship. Is that what your doing, giving me something amazing and taking it away." He frowned as nothing but silence greeted his ears. He shook his head and kept walking, not knowing quite where he was headed. He walked towards a small duck pond and sat on a nearby bench. He overlooked the calm water as someone sat beside him. He scrunched his eyebrows in confusion to see an younger priest, sitting beside him. The priest smiled and said," Beautiful night." Jeffrey just nodded as he looked back to the pond. He crossed his arms as the priest said," You alright?" Jeffrey just nodded as the priest laughed. She smirked as he said," I see. So you're not fine. Plus I think if you were fine, you'd be in bed asleep. Not staring into the abyss at two in the morning." Jeffrey didn't realize he'd stayed out that late. He uncrossed his arms and looked to the younger man. Jeffrey frowned and said,"You're right. I screwed up my relationship with my girlfriend." The priest just nodded wanting Jeffrey to do the talking. Jeffrey sighed and said," When I met Hazel. I knew she was special. But I kept her at arms length. We were just friends with benefits for awhile but then I realized she was more than that. But long story short is that she asked me to marry her and I said no. Then she shut me out, she wants a break to think. I love her and I want to be with her but not marriage. It's just a piece of paper anyways, no offense Father." The priest laughed and shook his head. The priest clasped his hands together and said," Well, she wants marriage and deep down I think you do too. But you're scared and that's okay. If this women loves you, she might change her mind. But if being married means alot to her, you might need to have a sit down talk with her, before you lose her." Jeffrey just nodded as he looked to the priest to see him standing up. He looked up to the moon and began walking away. Jeffrey couldn't help but smirk and do the same, walking back to the hotel.

He walked into the lobby and kept his head down as he walked towards the elevator. He hit the 'up' button and waited as he began to get nervous again. Hoping she hasn't left yet. He pulled out his key card as the doors opened and let himself in the room. He found a pacing Jensen and couldn't help but begin to worry, wondering where Hazel had disappeared to. Jensen looked to him and breathed out a sigh of relief, but Jeffrey saw the anger grow on his face. Jensen stalked to him and said,"Where the hell have you been? Hazel and everyone else has been worried sick." Jeffrey put his hands up in defense but that only fueled Jensen's anger. Jensen crossed his arms and said," Hazel about fainted. While you were out, doing God knows what, Hazel has done nothing but freak. She's asleep now but just because she took some anxiety pills to calm herself down." Jeffrey looked to Hazel sound asleep on the bed and immediately began feel the guilt eat at him. Jensen calmed down as he saw the sad look on Jeffrey's face. He sighed and said," She told me what happened. Y'all are trying for kids and are happy. Why not get hitched?" Jeffrey rolled his eyes and sat at the end of the bed. He put his face in his hands as shook his head. Jeffrey wiped at a few tears that fell from his brown eyes. He shook his head and said," Her name's Naomi. She was a woman that at one time we were in love but it didn't work. We didn't want to go through the whole divorce thing and get lawyers involved and public records so we just never did. We're still married and I couldn't find a way to tell her, that I was married to this mysterious woman Naomi and I'm scared my marriage would be just like the first. God, I'm such a jackass." Jensen shook his head as he watched Hazel stir on the bed. He watched her slowly sit up and say," You're not a jackass. An idiot every now and again but not a jackass." Jeffrey turned and looked to Hazel she wiped at her cheeks. Hazel looked down at the bed as she said," Jensen, do you mind to step out while we talk. You've been awake all night, go get some rest." Jensen just nodded as he left. Jeffrey looked to her and said," Call me if you need me, okay?" Hazel just nodded as he left, slamming the door on his way out. Jeffrey looked at the ugly hotel carpet as Hazel said," I'm not a complete bitch. You could have told me you weren't ready to have a baby and marriage and I would've understood. My time to have a baby is now and I want to do this with the man I love but he doesn't. I need to know now before, we get a kid involved." Jeffrey wiped at some tears of his own as Hazel got off the bed. She stood in front of him, waiting on the answer. Jeffrey just looked to her and shook his head. Jeffrey rubbed his hands on his jeans as he said," I'm sorry, Hazel. I love you but I can't." Hazel had tears in her eyes as she grabbed her duffel. All her clothes packed. Hazel frowned and shook her head. Hazel began walking to the door as she said," Jeff, I've been through alot in my life. I've lost a baby, left my abusive husband, taken care of my business when my brother was in one of his alcoholic stupors, and tried to be normal again after the shit in my life has happened. Your not the only who's had a shit love life and afraid to try again. Fuck you." He heard the door open and slam. Knowing she was gone. But he didn't have the strength to rum after her and beg for forgiveness. He screwed up again and he honestly didn't know if he should fix it or let it go.

Hazel sat in the airport, waiting on her flight. She was an odd sight to see this early in the morning. Her hair was messy and thrown in all directions, an oversized t shirt that belongs to Jeff, and a pair of Jean shorts. She pulled out her phone to see no missed calls or text messages. He wasn't going to come after her. He was going to let her go and that hurt the most. Hazel put her phone down and wiped at her cheeks. A quiet womens voice came over the intercom as she said," Flight number 603b, flight to New York. Boarding now at gate 16." She stood along with a few others sitting around her. She began walking towards gate 16 when she heard yelling from down the hall. She looked down the to see Jeffrey running towards her, yelling her name. Hazel couldn't believe it was him, he actually came for her. She dropped her duffel beside her as he stopped a few feet in front of her. She couldn't help but smile as he said," It's true. I fucked up, more times I can count. But the only thing that I didn't fuck up was my love for you. When I met you I knew I loved you. You were my best friend and my lover and I was gonna let you walk away. I was gonna let the best thing in my life walk away. I'll get ahold of Naomi and get my divorce final. I'm not gonna lie, I'm scared. I'm scared I'm gonna fuck up again and lose the best and most beautiful woman that has ever walked into my life. Hazel I'll accept your proposal if you'll have me."