The Element of Surprise

Here we are again

5 Days later

It had been five days and Meredith had the same recurring nightmare every night. She asked Derek just to hold her until she fell asleep because that was the only way she could. Meredith lived her life on edge. The door to her house was always locked, when someone rang the doorbell, she bolted to the bathroom in her room to hide in one of the small cabinets. The first time this happened, Derek happened to be home. He saw her run up the stairs, he was confused so he went to the door to see what who was there. Nobody was there, it was just a package. He made sure to lock the door after he got the package, then he made his way up the stairs into her room.

"Meredith?" he called quietly looking in the closet

"Derek, is it just you?" She said even more quietly

"Yea, where are you? Why are you hiding?" He said as he made his way to the bathroom following the sound of her voice.

"I'm in here." Meredith said slightly opening up the cabinet door

"Ohhh Mer, you don't need to hide. It was only a package."

"What if it was him." Derek was surprised she said this because it was the first time she actually acknowledged that the attack actually happened.

"I'm here, you don't need to be afraid. I got you." He said as he picked her up, her legs wrapping around his waist as she put her head into the crook of his neck. As he picked her up, he noticed she felt a lot lighter, she was always light but not this light.

"Mer? Have you been eating anything?"

There was nothing but silence. Derek set her down on the edge of bed and sat next to her. "Meredith, please tell me you have been eating."

"no" she said so quietly he could barely hear her.

"Oh Meredith." He said kinds disappointed in himself because he was the one who made her food everyday, against her wishes, and he still hadn't noticed that every time after she ate she went to the bathroom.

"I'm sorry I didn't say anything."

"No, no it's ok. You're under a lot of stress. I get it." Derek said lightly, not wanting to spook her. "Do you want to take a nap, you didn't get much sleep last night."

"It's only 1:10 Derek."

"I know I just thought you might want a nap."

"That actually sounds nice."

Derek watched her as she laid back down into bed and helped her pull the covers back over her. He then sat by her head and stroked her hair a few times pushing it out of her face. Once he heard the light snores, he stood up and went downstairs to clean.

Meredith heard Derek leave the room. She got up and went into the bathroom. She sat down in the connor and curled up in a ball with her hand in between her knees. Soft whimpers escaped her lips as she was trying to calm herself down. Derek went back upstairs to check on her and was alarmed at the empty space in the bed. He heard a soft cry come from the bathroom and went in there to see Meredith burning herself with her curling iron.

"Meredith what are you doing!" He said as he rushed over to unplug the curling iron and take it out of her hands

"I'm, I'm just such a waste of space and time. I-I-I mean look at you! You came up here to check on me after 10 minutes! I can't be trusted!" She exclaimed between tears, she sank down into. corner once the curling iron was pried from her hands. Derek rushed over to go sit with her on the floor.

"Oh Meredith don't say that." He said holding her close. "Mer, I don't know what to do, yiu have been living on edge, I have noticed. I don't want to take you to a facility but I don't want you to keep hurting yourself like this. I saw you looking at yourself the other day."