i want to listen ➵ bokuto koutarou

5.

we are told stories of gods and goddesses who reign upon their lands and people. their old prophecies that speak legends of their triumphs and their falls. their lives and deaths. we hear about angels who fall from the heavens because of a mistake, only to be named what they've sinned. how they throw their head back with glazed eyes and regretful tears, barreling through the air. we read their stories in schools to learn from their faults, and some base their whole lives around making their decisions in opposition to the devil's actions. this is all what we label as, what it means to be good.

however, a good person is not better than any bad person. we are each individualized by our strengths, and our weaknesses, in order to do what is best for ourselves. and whether that is labeled as selfish, is just another generalization of the vague assumption that you can be good for everyone. because someone is good to a group of people, does not mean that they won't be bad towards everyone else. it is simply impossible to please everyone in the world, whether you may try your hardest, it is simply impossible.

this is why i will never blame those who don't understand me, or my situation. who waste their time with mean insults or petty glances. because instead, i will be good to them as well so that one day i won't regret my decision. however, one thing that i will always regret, although i cannot control it, is not being able to thank those people who were always good to me.

now playing: red planet by bol4

-an amalgamation waltz 1839 by jeopardy beving

-always, ill care by jeremy sucker

-suit bergamasque L 75: claire de lune by claude debussy

the shoe on my left foot bounced against the ground as i watched the clock with greedy eyes. each minute passing slower than the next. however, after what seemed like an eternity, the hour hand finally hit 12 signaling that it was time for lunch.

i waited for a few students to stand before i did, to make sure that i hadn't misread the time since the ringing of the bell isn't at my disposal, before i follow suit. my chair rumbles against the floor as my thighs push it back, angling into a standing position while i stretch.

my eyes squint close and my arms bolt into the air as my muscles breath a sigh of relief. i wish i could curse the school system for forcing students into desks that are far too small and stern on our growing bodies.

as my arms start to lower and the dark spots around my eyes from my fading yawn dissipate, i can make out the figure of a tall boy in front of me. bokuto stands with his hands folded behind his back and a shy smile on his face, slightly leaning over my frame which stands at a foot and a bit extra shorter than him.

i had always been appreciative that kou was the type of guy that was kind enough not to invade on my personal space. his touches and leans are close enough to direct my attention to him, but gentle enough to respect the boundaries that i never even set.

as per usual, his lips start to move in rapid precession, spewing out words that i am barely able to make out. "lunch", "together", "sick", and what is either "agaashi" or "ahaashi", though its not like id know what an ahaashi is if i could actually understand him, fly out of his mouth. suddenly, his talking comes to a sudden stop, almost like he had caught himself rambling, as he looks to me expectantly.

kou knows that i am not one to talk, so my only answer is to nod with a smile hoping that i didn't need much else. and although i wasn't sure where we were headed or what my purpose was, i followed without hesitation as bokuto lightly grabbed onto my elbow and pulled me along.