Never Make Fun of The Skinny Chick~

.:|Chapter 18|:.

Discovering~

Authors Perspective:

"Just do it" Jessie said in her head "Just do it and get it over with".

She stared at the phone in her hand, her thumb mere centimeters away from tapping the call icon but something in her would not allow her to tap the screen. Something called fear. For the past week fear has loomed around Jessie like a dark cloud, holding her back from admitting what she has done. Hell fear was what got her in this position in the first place but she would not allow for it to hold her back anymore. What she did was wrong and she herself could still not believe what she had done but she no longer could hide it was time to face the music.

Her heart thumped louder with each ring of the phone and when it connected, she was sure would explode.

"Hey" Cassidy's voice sang on the other line and Jessie nearly died; if she thought her heart was racing before, it was nothing compared to what it was now.

"H-Hey Cass. How are you?" She chewed her bottom lip. This would be the longest call of her life.

"I've been good" Cassidy answered but Jessie could hear the distress in her voice and she contemplated if telling her now was the smart decision. She clearly was already not in a happy mode and telling her now would only worsen it but it didn't matter when Jessie told her, Cassidy could've been in the best mood possible and that would still all change once Jessie told her. 'Just do it and get it over with' Jessie kept chanting in her head. "How are you" Cassidy asked.

"I've been good also, thanks"

"I havent heard from you in a while, is everything okay?"

"Yea yea. I-i'm fine. I've just had a lot on plate"

"Tell me about it. I've got homecoming committee work, I have to get ready for my Aunt Sharon's Wedding, trying to juggle school and its just all been so crazy"

"What's been going on" Jessie stalled.

On the other line, Cassidy sighed and ran her fingers through her hair. She had been meaning to call Jessie, but lately she's just wanted to be alone. "I don't even know where to start"

"Try the beginning"

Another sigh from Cassie before she said "I feel like I'm losing everything" her voice cracked mid sentence and she sniffled and if that wasn't enough to make Jessie feel like shit then she didn't know what would "I'm just so tired of everything, sometimes I wish..." she paused.

"You wish what?"

"....I wish I could just end it all"

Hearing the fatal words, nearly made Jessie want to cry. When Jessie and Cassie first became friends, long ago in the fifth grade, Jessie was always Cassie's rock. She was with her through it all, the depression, the self-abuse. Jessie even remembers the day she walked in on Cassie attempting suicide. She cried for hours that night at the thought of losing her best friend and here she was a couple years later, stabbing her in the back. Jessie wished she had a time-machine and was able to go back in time and change that day.

"Don't talk like that" Jessie pleaded "You know you scare me when you do"

"I'm sorry , its just the way I'm feeling you know? But you have nothing to worry about, even if I did want to end it all, I never get any freaking privacy in this house to do so"