Midnight Desires (modern AU)

Chapter 1

The atmosphere was tense and the air felt like it was too heavy for Christine to really draw in a deep enough breath. She could only stare down at her boyfriend, green eyes wide and her slender hand clamped over her mouth in shock. She'd been expecting a great many things today- but her boyfriend, Raoul proposing to her was not one of them. She tried to formulate words, hyper aware of the fact that her inability to answer was getting to him. She swallowed thickly as she lowered her hand. It was still a moment more before she could actually bring herself to speak. "Raoul.. I-.. I don't know what to say." She finally informed, her tone hesitant.

The tense feeling only increased exponentially. Raoul stared at her blankly before snapping the little box shut. He stood with a heavy sigh, running his hands through his hair. "What do you mean you don't know what to say, Christine? Wouldn't you say this should be the next step for us?" He demanded somewhat harshly, glaring at her.

Christine flinched slightly, crossing her arms over her chest. She supposed that she could understand why he'd be upset, but this was more than being upset. He was angry with her because she hadn't responded the way he wished she would. Her near panic faded to the background as the indignation swept through her. "Maybe! But this really isn't something that you spring onto someone like this! We've never even discussed what our future would look like." She shot back.

Raoul tossed the box and groaned loudly, her almost rational and admittedly boring response the last thing he wanted to hear, "We've been together for five damn years, Christine! I didn't think planning had to go into it!"

The anger faded quickly, getting replaced with an almost defeated feeling. They'd been arguing like this for quite awhile now. marrying and letting it continue on like this wasn't something that appealed to her in the slightest. "Maybe that's the problem, Raoul. I think we're tired of each other.." She admitted softly, looking down as she bit her bottom lip.

Raoul was still angry but something in her words, perhaps the tone she had used made him pause. When he really thought about it, Christine had a point. It had been so long since they'd kissed and had it last longer than a simple peck. "But I love you, Christine.. I really do." he argued weakly.

Christine didn't answer right away, still avoiding eye contact. It was another few moments before she finally sighed and glanced at him before looking away. "But how do you love me? In what way? Because it can't be too deeply." She pointed out.

Raoul hesitated for a few minutes, opening and closing his mouth. Her point had been made for her. He sighed and ran his hands through her hair once more, almost opening his mouth to apologize. "Perhaps we can take a break from our relationship for a couple months or so? Flirt around and figure out how we truly feel towards each other. If we don't get back into contact, we'll know the truth. If we do- we can potentially consider this marriage idea." He finally offered in return, avoiding her question and simply giving a potential solution instead.

Christine couldn't deny that it had stung at first, his inability to answer. He'd been expecting her to accept his proposal when he couldn't even tell her how he loved her. His suggestion had stung as well, but perhaps it was what they needed. If he didn't come back to her, she would know that he'd been looking for an out this entire time and trying to convince himself that he wanted this anyways. "That sounds good to me, dear.. I think you should go. I've got to figure out what I'm going to do now." She uttered, turning her whole body away from him.

Raoul nodded and shifted to press a quick kiss to her cheek before he walked out the door. He felt somewhat bad, especially when he identified the feeling that washed over him as disappointment that mingled with a strong dose of relief. He ignored the relief and forced himself to focus on the disappointment. He wanted this. He did. There was no other option. Now he'd just have to be patient.

Christine only relaxed when she heard the door shut and a car pulled off. She sighed heavily and took a moment or two to gather her usual composure. She trudged off to the bedroom and decided almost immediately that she would go back to Paris for a small vacation. A change of scenery may be good for her- even if she was only going back to the city that had become her home after her father's death.

Besides, Perhaps she could run into Meg again. Surely her best friend still lived there? She had no doubt the shorter female was still a ballerina. Even if she'd lost contact with her during her relationship, she liked to think that she still knew her and her passions very well. They'd told each other almost everything, after all. Even the things they would've never dared to share with anyone else.

Christine shook the traitorous thought off and pushed the almost overwhelming joy that the idea brought her as far down as she could manage, pulling out a couple suitcases to pack. She'd book a hotel and a plane ticket when she was done with this part.