Love Is Just a Word

Chapter One: That Escalated Quickly

To Lil Con😎✌️: hey, i know its late and all, but i just wanted to thank you for always being there for me and i love you. see ya on the other side.

I turned my phone off so I wouldn't feel guilty if he even bothered to open my text. Doubt it. He's gonna hate me for what I'm about to do, but it won't really matter in a matter of seconds.

*SELF HARM WARNING*

I walked into my private bathroom and flung open the sink drawer. I took out my razor blade and put it on the sink. I studied it carefully. It was absolutely perfect in my eyes. I hated myself for thinking like that. All the more reason why I deserve the pain.

I picked it up and put it against my forearm. Taking in a deep breath, I pushed and pulled it against my skin. It hurt, but I really did deserve it. I'm the failure child. The one my parents don't care about. I dread to call them that, but they did bring me into this world. I - you guessed it - hate them for it.

I lifted the blade and brought it to a different part on my arm and pushed and pulled harder. I did it over and over until I could slowly feel my arm going numb.

*OKAY YOU'RE GOOD TO READ NOW*

I smiled to myself as it was only minutes until I could finally leave this hell hole. I was just gonna get sent to another one, so I didn't care.

I slid against my bathroom door and smiled to myself as tears started pouring down my cheeks. I smiled through it as I threw my blade in disgust. I was a disgrace to myself and everyone around me. They're so lucky I'm doing them a favor - more for myself then them - but oh well.

My eyes started to get heavy, so I decided I might as well get comfortable as I took my last breath. I tried standing up to go curl up in the bathtub, but I fell half way there. I laughed at how weak I was.

Too weak to live peacefully. Too weak to die peacefully. My life has never been peaceful and I know it wouldn't be ever if I weren't doing this.

I closed my eyes, expecting to leave in a minute or two, but my heart quickly sunk. Not because I was suddenly scared of dying, but because there was knock on the bathroom door. Fuck. Why can't they leave me be.

"Zoe! Open the door!" I heard my best friend yell from the other side, repetitively banging the door.

"Leave. Please." I whispered as more tears rolled down my cheeks.

I finally grew a pair to end it all and Connor had to come and screw it up. I really hated him sometimes. No. I only have ever hated him in this moment. Connor was too amazing to hate.

My heart filled with absolute fear as my bathroom door flew open, showing Connor standing there in tears. He ran over to me and started screaming something at me. I couldn't hear him though.

I smiled to myself as I was quickly engulfed in the sweet darkness of my death.

(A/N: Sorry for the short chapter! It'll be longer next time. I'll try to update every week at least once. Thank you for reading again!
- Madison )