one

three

By the third day back things weren't any better. Not only did it seem impossible to find my classes despite constant attempts to read the badly photocopied map Mr Groff had given me, but I was starting to think it increasingly less likely that I would be able to make any friends at all. 

...

Anyway classic day: lost again, no one around, really having to search for the ability to give a fuck anymore when I saw helmet-boy sprinting past with an inhaler, looking like he wanted to die a little. I decided to follow him, not because I wanted to be creepy or anything like that but because his desperation was somewhat relatable and there wasn't any chance I was going to be able to get myself to class any time soon anyway. Getting there I pulled off my guitar and placed it carefully on the floor "You okay" I asked. "Not really", he said, curling up on the floor, "that was my mum on the TV". "Oh I mean that's bad" I replied, trying to pretend I understood what he was talking about and failing catastrophically. 

Suddenly I heard a voice behind me "You want one", I turned round abruptly to be met by the girl I had seen in English a few days earlier thrusting a pack of cigarettes in my face. "No thanks" I replied shortly, turning away. It wasn't that I didn't like this girl, more that she was devastatingly beautiful and I was readying myself for the inevitable moment I would make a fool of myself and she would stop talking to me. Probably the wrong attitude but why try when you could just give up. 

Having put my headphones back in I couldn't totally make out the conversation helmet boy and the girl were having but she actually seemed to be vaguely supporting him. I mean don't get me wrong, it wasn't executed well and the trace of sarcasm that still lingered in her voice did somewhat tarnish the sentiment, but hey, she was trying. I turned my music off and met her eyes for a second. "Is there something you want to say?" she glared at me. Thankfully I was saved from answering by helmet-boy groaning again "I think I'm just going to sink into the floor and disappear". 

I smiled languidly, "As someone who's usually the centre of this stuff, you'll survive". The girl looked over at me, confused, "You don't seem like the type to get talked about". "And you don't look like the type to go out of your way to comfort someone, but miracles are clearly possible" I shot back. I inwardly groaned, people and the amount they did or more likely didn't talk to me had always been a somewhat touchy subject and the way this girl had questioned me so directly when she probably had no idea what it was like, had made me really unspecifically angry.

Thankfully I was saved from likely murder by the sound of screaming coming from inside the bathrooms. The girl chucked her cigarette on the floor, ground it with the heel of her studded boot and ran over to the door. I walked after her, anxious to see what was going on. 

"Jesus Christ" I said locking eyes with attitude boy. To say that his dick was swollen would be an understatement, not only was it much bigger and redder than average but it was pulsating angrily in what absolutely can't be a normal way. 

The helmet boy came in "Adam, what did you take?" So his name was Adam. "Viagra" he replied, looking shiftily at the floor. "How much viagra" helmet boy carried on, "think of this as four walls of trust, no-one's going to judge your decision". 

Adam lifted his head up and met helmet boy's eyes, really seeming to believe him, "three" he said. The girl let out a snort of laughter and quickly put her hand over her mouth. "Her reaction made it seem bad, is it bad?", he put his hand on his chest and began hyperventilating, "I feel lightheaded and I can taste scampi". Before anyone had the chance to say anything helpful the girl butted in again: "No wonder, you could besiege a castle with that thing" she grinned manically. I tried to hide the fact I was laughing but I was unsuccessful and Adam saw me. "Stop looking at it" he yelled trying to cover his body with his jumper. "Sorry, it's like a third leg" I shouted back as he slammed the bathroom door. There was a singular beat of silence before I met eyes with the girl. Immediately, we both started laughing, leaning against each other ridiculously for support. 

Whilst we waited for Adam to feel better (Viagra isn't quick to dissipate by the way) and helmet boy creepily therapised him I chatted to the girl. It turns out that she's called Maeve and, wonders will never cease, but she actually seemed nice. I mean don't get me wrong, she's still fucking scary, but scary in a good, interesting way. Also I had assumed that she would inevitably be the centre of the unachievably cool and by association devastatingly mean group, but I'm starting to think that was an inaccurate assessment. I mean I'm not certain but I saw her put an apostrophe into "Maeve Wiley's a cock biter", that was scrawled all over the bathroom door, a couple of times suggesting that maybe people talk shit about her too. 

Walking out Maeve grinned at me. Confused I checked behind me. "What the hell are you looking for?" she said, giving me a withering look. 

Before I can get more than a stuttered "um" out she rolled her eyes "It was a rhetorical question dipshit" and strode off.

I turned round to pick up my things and heard a yell: "I'll see you around snowflake". I let the full extent of my grin twist manically across my face and my felt my ears start to burn. What I didn't know, however, was that at the other side of school, Maeve was similarly flushed. 

Suddenly recomposing myself, I chatted to the helmet-boy. "Sorry I don't really know what just happened", he interrupted, forcing me to pause and gesture to him that it was fine to keep speaking. "I'm Otis" he said awkwardly, "do you want to get some lunch together?" After deciding that whatever he turned out to be like anything would be better than sitting alone a third day running, I smiled back at him, "yeah I'd love to".