one

fourteen

Sophie's Point of View

Maeve and I stayed in that position for a while. Totally silent in case we accidently disrupted the peace between us but secretly comfortable in being so close to each other. I watched her out of the corner of my eye, mentally writing a song that I would probably never be able to actually sing, let alone to her. I traced the crease on her forehead with my index finger, taking in everything that made her so heart-stoppingly perfect. Her eyes were red, still reminiscent of earlier and her hands were clasped round my waist, literally pulling me as close as I could possibly be to being inside her skin. Noticing my slight shift in position she began to wriggle in my arms, "Soph we need to talk" she grunted out, her voice cracking slightly. I looked over at her, "but why?" I asked, really staring at her now, "things are so good at the moment". Maeve ran a hand through her hair, pulled away from me and sat, leaning against the wall "that's kind of my point though, things are good in this second but what about after we leave here". I rolled my eyes at her "Maeve we went through this earlier, we can still hang out if you're dating Jackson", my eyes widened, realising what I had said "shit, I'm sorry", her eyes flicked to me , letting me know it was okay I had made a mistake, "what I mean is that you can hang out with Aimee and I and another group if you want to, we're not exclusive". Maeve flicked her eyes back to mine and swallowed "but what if I want to be?" she asked. My face spread into a ridiculously big grin "well I would have to check with Aimee" I joked, "we're a very eminent group". Maeve slapped my arm "dickhead". "Oh, you went there" I shot back "what a fucking asshole" she grabbed my arm, pulling me down so we were basically wrestling on the floor, still dramatically swearing at each other. Suddenly it was over. I breathed heavily. It was like we should have laughed but instead, somehow, the moment felt serious, blocked from hilarity. Maeve tentatively reached over and moved a piece of my hair so that it was comfortably back behind my ear and for a second I thought I saw lust building in her eyes before she seemed to sort of shake herself out of the mood and sat up dramatically, sliding her hands away from me. I sat next to her, playing with the hem of my dress. "Are we going to talk about the elephant in the room" I suddenly asked. She looked at me, almost disappointed, "Soph I don't want to assume but the other day and earlier when you were talking it seemed like you might like me". I turned so that I was facing her again "and?", I asked. "And I'm not really into girls in that way" she finished, "so sorry but no". I tried to rewrite the disappointment etched into my face and ignore the sudden emptiness in my chest, only succeeding very minimally, "it's okay" I choked out "I didn't really like you anyway". She looked upset despite everything she had just said and began to play with her rings signaling the conversation was over and leaving my words hanging in the air. 

"So, what about a dance" I asked clearing the thick silence between us. She finally looked at me again and her lips twitched, clearly as close to a smile as I was going to get, "okay".

...

Back inside I put my arms around her waist and rested my head on her shoulder, enjoying the extra inch she had on me height-wise. She tucked her head down, so that it was resting on my shoulder in the same way and began to sway gently. As if on cue the song changed. I almost, broke our embrace, knowing the song and therefore how it related to us before it even properly started.

7. Oceans – by Seafret

I mentally added this to the list during the dance but was able to solidify it later that evening. On the surface, it was obvious that it had to go on there, simply because of the fact it had played during that perfect dance, but more deeply than that, it's a ballad about loving someone, more than you knew you ever could but hiding your emotions under the surface, trying to pretend that it's not really happening, because you're scared I suppose, of what might happen if you told the truth. Therefore, in a metaphorical sense, you have oceans of thick silences between you, preventing that easy communication you crave. I suppose that's how I felt about Maeve in that moment, we had talked but the connection between us still felt unbearably intense and though I tried to accept that she just didn't like me like that, that didn't mean that I had stopped liking her. 

...

After the song finished, she lifted her head and stared at me, eyes and hearts connected. For a second I thought we might be about to kiss, but then "do you want to come over tonight?" she said, the crack in her voice almost daring me to say yes. I inwardly sighed, I wanted to be alone with Maeve so badly but after what she had said earlier it felt weird to be with just Maeve in such a domestic, intimate setting. After all, we were supposed to be just being friends and I think I was scared that if I went over, that would inevitably be challenged. I breathed in and out, trying to make up my mind. Finally having come to a decision, I smirked slightly at her. "Okay" I said, "but Aimee's got to come too". Maeve's eyebrow creased and she looked confused, if not a little bit disappointed "really?" she asked. My grin stretched further across my cheeks "well, if we're an exclusive group and all that". Maeve lips twitched slightly, and I could tell she was trying not to laugh, "I see what you're doing you know" she rolled her eyes at me. I squinted one eye and sized her up with the other "It's okay if you're not up to it" I retorted smirking. Maeve gasped, clearly impressed, if only a little bit. "Come on" she said, grabbing my hand and pulling me over to Aimee, "let's go". I inwardly braced myself, even with Aimee there it was clear it would be an interesting night.