Alone In The End

Laughing

Hi, I'm Nathan and this is the story of how I lost everything.

I was walking down to the park to smoke with my best friend, Elliot. It was freezing that night so, Elliot draped his jacket over my shoulders and pulled me into his chest. I felt so safe and loved. I felt like this was it, this was all I was ever going to want.

You see, I was madly in love with Elliot but, he had a boyfriend. He really thought Oliver was the one for him; his forever. The one to finally make his life complete. I never thought that he was capable of keeping Elliot happy, though, at least not like I could have. And boy, was I right. Anyway, back to the story.

When he saw the street sign indicating that we were close to the park he was taking me to, he picked me up and started to jog. I squealed, "Hey! Put me down!" He ignored me and I went from giggling to fully laughing with tears streaming and muscles aching in a matter of seconds. He always managed to make me laugh as hard as I could and I could tell he loved it. He loved making people smile and laugh. That was just who he was as a person. I think, that's a major part of why I loved him.

When we got to the park, he put me down and I went straight for the swings, begging him to push me. After laughing at me and calling me a child, he sauntered over to me and did as I had asked.

He was sweet. Really. Elliot was everything to me. He was the reason I smiled everyday or even got out of bed. Believe me, I have struggled with depression since I was 9 but, Elliot made me feel good again.

He pushed me as high as he could manage. I squeezed my eyes shut and imagined that I was flying. It was an amazing and peaceful experience. Once I was done with the thrill of flying, we sat on the swings, passing a joint between the two of us. The weed made everything feel so much better. As good as I already felt with him, being high made it damn near perfect. I felt safer than I ever had before.

Okay, that was my first time trying weed and Elliot was a great tripsitter. He made sure I was okay and comfortable all the time. Every time he asked, I answered the same way, "I feel so good. Thank you."

I decided to leave the swings after a while and I went to the slide instead. He followed. When I could feel him close behind, I stopped and turned abruptly. He stopped too late and we were inches away from each other. Elliot stopped breathing as he closed the gap between us and captured my mouth in a soft kiss.

The kiss didn't stay soft for long. It was hot and passionate. I felt as though I had the wind knocked out of me. My best friend, and the love of my life, was kissing me. I mean, we were full on making out, in the middle of a park, high as balls.

What the fuck?