The Boy Behind the Counter

✑ chapter fourteen: what about love?

you've been hiding, never letting it show / always trying to keep it under control
you got it down, and you're well on your way to the top. but there's something that you forgot:
what about love? don't you want someone to care about you? what about love? don't let it slip away
what about love? i only want to share it with you— you might need it someday

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"...And then she said that she thought it sounded like a really good idea! I'm telling you, Maya— she complimented me and everything!"

Maya squeezed her friend's hands and joined her in her delighted squeal.

Ema had been relaying the events of the previous night to her, and from Maya's perspective, it seemed like things between Ema and Lana were finally improving. Lana was still a bit standoffish— she'd always been that way, Ema said— but they'd had a good, genuine, and friendly conversation. That was more than they'd really had in a while.

It was a problem that put Maya in a difficult position. It wasn't a position that she would dare complain about, because she was a good friend and wanted to be there for the people she cared about, but it left her conflicted nonetheless. She was happy that Ema was improving things and that she and Lana were finally making some headway. But there was some jealous, ugly piece of her that couldn't help but hurt. She and Mia had not gotten that chance, after all, and never could.

Not that she and Mia had ever really fought. They were quite close, in fact. But there had always been things they didn't talk about. A certain wall that created a distance between them. Learning about Professor Armando had made that much more apparent than ever. Mia had concealed something that could be considered an engagement. She'd kept a relationship a total secret from Maya for years. And then, Mia died, and did so with that distance intact. Good intentions aside, that hurt. Maya was still struggling to swallow it all.

"Hey," Ema said, her voice sharp. Maya's hands had gone limp and Ema gave them a jarring squeeze that snapped her back to her senses. "What's the matter?"

"Oh— it's nothing! Really. I just..."

She wasn't sure how to phrase what she wanted to say. She didn't want to alarm Ema or anything. She sat down on the edge of her mattress, where Ema joined her, and carefully adjusted the skirt of her robes with her palms until the fabric laid flat.

"Yeah?"

"It's REALLY important that you guys spend that time together. You've really got to cherish every moment while you can, right?" Maya could feel Ema staring at her. She continued to look at her own hands. "It's... Well, it's just that Mia was taken so fast. I didn't know that would happen. It seemed like a normal day at the time. So I can't remember if... if I told her I loved her that morning or not."

"Maybe you didn't. But maybe you didn't have to."

"...I'm sure you're right."

"Of course I am!"

There was a silence. Ema clung to her book and stared into space. Maya feigned an irritated groan.

"Okay, now what's with you?"

"When was the last time you saw Larry?"

"Larry...?" Maya's entire face scrunched up into something that made Ema snicker. "Now that you mention it, he totally blew me off this morning. He said he was busy but he wouldn't tell me what he was doing."