the wind's hymn | paused

Chapter 12

Things became less awkward in between the sessions and Reborn's shenanigans. Alec relished it while it lasted.

He can't blame the brunet though. He was waiting for it for weeks. It was a good improvement Tsuna asked even when they were trying to sleep.

"How many people have you killed?"

"First--" the blond turns around, raising his gaze to see the moonlight glowing in Tsuna's amber eyes, "--what am I?"

"...Retired assassin," Tsuna answers quietly, looking into Alec's tired blue ones. "And assassins kill."

"What about hitmen like Reborn?"

"Hitmen are hired to kill."

It's silent as Tsuna thinks, shifting his head on his pillow, eyebrows furrowed.

"They both are, but kill who?" the blond prompts, holding back a yawn.

"People."

"And?"

"Assassins kill people too."

"But what makes them different? Why are they different words?" he pushes himself up, blinking at Tsuna as a tuft of messy hair falls on his nose.

"They kill different people..." Tsuna's eyes light up in understanding. "Hitmen kill anyone and assassins kill important people."

"So what should your first question be?"

"What kind of important people did you... kill?" The brunet falters at the end, meeting Alec's eyes.

"Those who hurt my family." He replies softly, a conflicting smile creeping up his pursed lips.

"But you're retired now," Tsuna thinks out loud. "So either you've killed them or you can't."

"I killed the wrong people. You could argue I've already achieved revenge but I also haven't because the person is still alive." Alec shifts his gaze away, heart beating heavy in his chest as he holds his voice steady.

"You killed their family because the person killed yours," Tsuna whispers, dread and confusion bleeding from his voice.

"The three in-laws for the lives of my nephew and his parents," Alec flexes his fingers, staring at them with a wispy smile and a distant gaze. "Little Xan was two months old. Small and adorable, always smiling and laughing--his face lit up like a lightbulb whenever he was lifted. His father and mother were both eighteen. Yes, they were young... but they were an incredibly beautiful family."

The brunet opens his mouth, looking away with shock and horror twisting his face.

"The mafia Tsuna--" Alec raises his head, eyes hardening and voice sombre, "--is such a hard world to live in. I almost went to leave and kill the fucker who put you up to this."

And who sealed you, but I already know I can't because it would become harder for you.

"Is this why you're helping me?" Tsuna's voice grows quiet.

"Yeah."

"Thank you."

"No," Alec shakes his head, "Thank you for being you. You're different from them and I wouldn't change that for the whole world."

Because it's my fault for killing them that you're going through this. For killing his sons instead of only him.

Wind curls around Alec's chest, giving its own version of a comforting hug.

—•—

"Lambo!" Alec cups his hands around his mouth as his gaze sweeps past the stores lining the mall.

"Here!" The child yelps, running through a set of doors with grape candy clutched in his hands. "Lambo-san got distracted."

The blonde rolls his eyes, pulling a carton of grape juice from his pocket when he lowers himself into a kneel. "By this?"

Lambo squeals, shoving the sweets into his afro and free hands flying to take the carton. "How did you know Lambo-san wanted this juice?"

"It's the only one you drink." Alec scoops the five-year-old, hefting him on his shoulders. A laugh bubbles out his mouth, light and golden. "Did you protect the shopping list?"

"Yes!" The Bovino pulls in out his afro, holding it in front of Alec's face as the blond inspects it with a serious stare.

"5 gold stars to Lambo," he says as he looks over his shoulder, raising his eyebrow at the shouting from the trio behind him.

"I'm the Tenth's right hand man, not you!"

"Glad I'm with you," Alec comments as Yamamoto laughs and Tsuna fails in trying to get Gokudera to calm down. "Even though it's funny sometimes."

"Does Lambo-san get another gold star?" He asks with a burning gaze, vibrating with anticipation.

"Sure, since you're behaving really well today," Alec nods with certainty.

"Gahaha! Lambo-san is the best!"

Part of him wonders what Xan would be like if they hadn't died.

He would certainly be a wonderful grandson. They were so happy.

—•—

"What? I can't hear you," Alec says to the mumbling brunet, looking up from his book.

"Can you tell me about them?" Tsuna repeats, voice wavering. "What they were like?"

Alec snorts into laughter, shutting his book. "This is what's distracted you all day? I thought it was Bianchi's poison cooking when Reborn shot you today."

"Don't remind me," Tsuna mutters under his breath, shuddering. "I don't know how Gokudera survived years of it."

"Him surviving is questionable," the blond stretches his arms, cracking his back. "But back to the question, what if I don't want to tell you?"

"Huh?" The brunet blinks, puzzled.

"I'm not going to spill everything to the fourteen-year-old Vongola Decimo candidate--" Alec looks at him pointedly, "--who I've only known for five weeks. Remember my first day of school, we cleaned the classroom together?"

"Y-yeah?"

"I said to not let anyone you're uncomfortable with touch you in ways that make you uncomfortable, right?"

Tsuna nods, lips pursed in thought.

"I don't feel comfortable sharing everything with you yet."

"Yet?" The brunet blinks, searching the blond's face.

"You never know," retired assassin shrugs, picking up his book again. "Plus summer vacation's over in two days. It would be awkward leaving you with this information, wouldn't it?"

"Oh," Tsuna's eyes widen in understanding.

"I won't be around much the first week, anyway," he adds. "I'm still avoiding Kyo as I did in the trip. He almost got me."

"But I didn't see him...?"

"Precisely," Alec's eyes gleam brightly, "I misinformed Sunshine. You saw his smile the other day when we hugged, right? Thought he had me. His confusion was fucking brilliant!"

Tsuna snorts, shoulders shaking and laugh filing his bedroom. "R-Reborn?"

The blond cracks a smug grin when a force knocks his head forward against the table.

"Shit--"

"Don't let your guard down, No-Good Tsuna," Reborn cocks his Glock, boring holes in the back of Alec's head.

"I'll sue you for brain damage--"

"Shut up, idiot."

"Don't wanna--oof!"
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